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Hello Everyone!
I am a single and almost 30, with a stable career in IT and in the process of finding a house to buy. I have two black labs and 2 cats. The dogs like to go and visit "Grandma's and Grandpa's" whenever they can. I am in no rush to get married, but I will always consider the option. I say this because I come from a relatively traditional family except that I was raised by a single mother as well, after my dad passed away when I was 2 years old.
I am considering foster-adopting an older child 8-12 years old, because as a working professional, I do not feel a child who is not of school age would be appropriate. I have always told my parents since I was younger that I wasn't having kids, but was going to adopt. Or at least adopt one child, if I was going to have any of my own.
I have already told two co-workers (as they caught me researching) and they are completely supportive of the idea. I did also tell a close friends but she had her reservations because old children usually come with "issues." I understand the commitments to therapy and added responsibility because of certain "special needs." I do believe I know my limits though of what I can handle, but she only just reaffirmed my convictions for doing it.
Does anyone have any advice or stories about how they told their family and friends they were going to start the adoption process? Any advice to how to handle the questions usually associated with older child adoption because so many people view them as "damaged or hopeless?" I hope my little bit of background regarding myself and situation helps.
Thank you for any advice in advance!
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I also adopted as a single parent. I did not tell anyone in my family that I was planning on adopting until I was approved to do so. I kept it all a secret- all the classes, etc. I wasn't sure how every thing would work out and I wasn't even sure I could adopt as a single female .
When I did finally tell them I told my parents first ---I started crying before I could get all the words out. my Dad said just tell us---Do you have cancer? I told them I was going to adopt. My mom said " I always knew you would do something like that." And my Dad wanted to know if it would be a boy.
my family has been very supportive--- Hopefully yours will do the same
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I was actually thinking about the same approach as you, where I would wait till everything was complete and I was approved and potentially matched.
I am sure it is just nerves, as nothing really surprises them with me anymore. I've always "beat to my own drum."
Thank you for your response though. I am sure it will be fine, as my family is too close and awesome to not be supportive. I am glad to hear that your family was so supportive as well!
I had randomly mentioned to my parents and siblings that one day I would adopt. I decided on the path that I would take (domestic infant adoption for me) and told my parents when I started the process and told my siblings along the way. They were all very supportive even though I was doing this as a single and like you come from a very traditional family as well. Once I was chosen by an expectant mom I told my two best friends. No one else knew until I was home with my son for a few days. I know it was quite a shock to many. :evilgrin:
I waited because I didn't want to hear everyone else's opinions on what I was doing or how I should do it. I did a lot of research and made the right decision for me. After-the-fact everyone in my life has been super supportive and maybe they would have been from the beginning but I think it helps that it was a "done deal".