Advertisements
Advertisements
I suffer from bipolar disorder. I thought I was stable for a while, but looking back on it, I still get anger flashes (I'm not violent, but it is still very frightening) that come out of the blue. I'm seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist, and have improved in many ways, but my episodes (mania, depression, and mixed) still come :(
Just due to life circumstances, I won't be fit to foster for at least another 5 years (I'm in college, and obviously would prefer to get into the work force and find a stable job and home before I start to open up my home to kids), but I'm starting to worry that it might take me much longer, if not never. It wouldn't be so bad to wait, even if it takes another 10 years, but the idea of being too unstable to parent is unbearable. I would never want to do anything that is detrimental to a child, but it is frustrating and heart breaking not being able to do anything to help.
I may be being overly dramatic. It's possible that I can improve. But, I'm feeling incredibly down about it now :(
BKLD,
I don't think anyone can ever predict what the future holds in 10 years. Who knows, perhaps different meds will be available that work really well for you. Being older and more stable may work to your advantage too.
You have a plan, stay strong, you sound like you are facing things head on.
Take care,
Dickons
Advertisements
Of course, you're right. No one can predict what will happen so far into the future. I guess I'm just in another one of my moods. I just don't feel like I'll ever get better sometimes.
I never post here but I'm de-lurking to say that I'm in the same boat as you! Currently struggling with mental illness, and hoping to become a foster parent in the future. I have PTSD, and a history of severe depression. For me, a strong desire to be a great foster parent one day is a huge motivation for taking care of my mental health.
It's good that you're already thinking about the fact that a child needs a calm, stable home. The good news about foster care is that unlike becoming a biological parent, you will literally have to get signed off on by professionals who say you're fit to parent! Keep self-assessing. Talk about it with your therapist. Maybe make some benchmarks with yourself about how you'll know when you're ready to parent. For example, a year without a bad anger flash. Manic/depressive/mixed cycles consistently toned down to the point where you can continue to consistently meet normal responsibilities.
I don't know if your therapist or psychiatrist have talked to you about everything you can be doing to manage your own mood. It's not just about handing your life over to the doctors! Exercise, meditation, nutrition, sleep hygiene, social support, and meaningful activities all contribute to mental health recovery.
Here's a really good web site with tips for taking care of yourself with bipolar disorder:
[url=http://www.helpguide.org/mental/bipolar_disorder_self_help.htm]Bipolar Support and Self–Help: Living with Bipolar Disorder[/url]
I think it's actually a great thing when people who have struggled with mental illness can become stable enough to become foster parents. It means you would have a special understanding of the mental health difficulties a foster kid might be dealing with, and you could be a great role model for them in self-care and destigmatizing getting help.
I never post here but I'm de-lurking to say that I'm in the same boat as you! Currently struggling with mental illness, and hoping to become a foster parent in the future. I have PTSD, and a history of severe depression. For me, a strong desire to be a great foster parent one day is a huge motivation for taking care of my mental health.
It's good that you're already thinking about the fact that a child needs a calm, stable home. The good news about foster care is that unlike becoming a biological parent, you will literally have to get signed off on by professionals who say you're fit to parent! Keep self-assessing. Talk about it with your therapist. Maybe make some benchmarks with yourself about how you'll know when you're ready to parent. For example, a year without a bad anger flash. Manic/depressive/mixed cycles consistently toned down to the point where you can continue to consistently meet normal responsibilities.
I don't know if your therapist or psychiatrist have talked to you about everything you can be doing to manage your own mood. It's not just about handing your life over to the doctors! Exercise, meditation, nutrition, sleep hygiene, social support, and meaningful activities all contribute to mental health recovery.
Here's a really good web site with tips for taking care of yourself with bipolar disorder:
[url=http://www.helpguide.org/mental/bipolar_disorder_self_help.htm]Bipolar Support and Self–Help: Living with Bipolar Disorder[/url]
I think it's actually a great thing when people who have struggled with mental illness can become stable enough to become foster parents. It means you would have a special understanding of the mental health difficulties a foster kid might be dealing with, and you could be a great role model for them in self-care and destigmatizing getting help.
My therapist has talked to me about exercise, meaningful activities, and meditation. We have figured out that I'm usually more stable when I'm at my busiest, so I try to keep myself active. Unfortunately, it doesn't always work...
Anyways, thank you. :) I'll find a way to get through it. I still worry, but I have seen improvement, so I guess that there's hope. Good luck to you as well!
Advertisements
There are probably things you do when you are at your best. Meditation is great for evening moods. So is learning acceptance which can only help you when you have hurt children.
One consideration is to see if there is a biological cause to your symptoms. Turns out that many people with BP does aren't! I'm not saying you are one of those, but it may be worth checking into medical issues that mimic BP. And if you have one of those issues, it may be more likely that than BP. Jfe, hypothyroidism can mimic BP or certain other mental illnesses. Adjusting the medication and/or waiting out an antibody attack (took a long time even with treatment in my case) can bring relief.
What about some alternative treatments? On boards I'm on, we talk a lot about these things for our foster and adopted children. There are busy yahoo groups dedicated to it. Things like regulation vs dysregulation, neurofeedback (check out the dallas brain changers website), neuroreorganization, various supplements and diets, etc.
Obviously, being busy, not doing too much navel gazing, doing meaningful work, volunteering, working on spirituality, etc all play a part also.
On that note, why not volunteer at a children's shelter or a business that benefits them? Not only do you get to help, but you'll also have another strong reference for when you're ready.
Hope that helps a little. Hurt children really do bring up our issues so you really must get yourself help first. And in doing so, you'll have some amazing skills and tools to help children with.
There are probably things you do when you are at your best. Meditation is great for evening moods. So is learning acceptance which can only help you when you have hurt children.
One consideration is to see if there is a biological cause to your symptoms. Turns out that many people with BP does aren't! I'm not saying you are one of those, but it may be worth checking into medical issues that mimic BP. And if you have one of those issues, it may be more likely that than BP. Jfe, hypothyroidism can mimic BP or certain other mental illnesses. Adjusting the medication and/or waiting out an antibody attack (took a long time even with treatment in my case) can bring relief.
What about some alternative treatments? On boards I'm on, we talk a lot about these things for our foster and adopted children. There are busy yahoo groups dedicated to it. Things like regulation vs dysregulation, neurofeedback (check out the dallas brain changers website), neuroreorganization, various supplements and diets, etc.
Obviously, being busy, not doing too much navel gazing, doing meaningful work, volunteering, working on spirituality, etc all play a part also.
On that note, why not volunteer at a children's shelter or a business that benefits them? Not only do you get to help, but you'll also have another strong reference for when you're ready.
Hope that helps a little. Hurt children really do bring up our issues so you really must get yourself help first. And in doing so, you'll have some amazing skills and tools to help children with.
I've gone to my GP about physical issues a couple of times, and we looked at my thyroid and other things, and I'm healthy as a horse (outside of some weight gain, which my doctor said was partially due to the meds and partially due to bad habit). I'm going to talk to my psychiatrist and my therapist about how I have been feeling lately. I had a particularly bad day on Saturday (on top of everything else, I figured out that I'm going through a crisis of faith), and I'm afraid that I didn't make myself as clear as I should have been during my appointment. I think I'll make a list so that I don't forget what I need to talk about.
I would love to volunteer at a children's shelter, but I've just got to be careful not to overwhelm myself since I currently volunteer for other causes as well. Not to mention school and work coming up. Being too busy stresses me out as much as not being busy enough.
I will look at some of these alternative therapies. I have been helped quite a bit with traditional therapy, but from the way that I have been feeling, I'll need something more.
Thanks.