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My dear Hubby and I are done with all our paperwork and are waiting for our temporary fostering license to come in the mail. We are trying to adopt a teen girl from the foster system here in KS (we have a girl we are matched with), and I was wondering if anyone knows what happens once our temp license actually gets here. Our worker said we would be able to meet our girl and then get placement with a temp license, but how does that go down?
Will we go to her current foster home to meet her? Will they bring her to us? How many pre-placement visits are we likely to have? The agency is hoping to have her moved in with us before school starts because her foster mom wants her moved asap, is this likely to impact the number of visits we have before she moves in?
And for heaven's sake, what on earth does one say to a child at the first meeting. Obviously "Hi, I'm your new mom" is right out.
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Ive heard of families taking months to transition... new parents joining the family for meals and outtings, then the kids hanging out alone with the new parents, and as they transition more to their new family and are staying over night the foster parents sometimes join the new family for meals and outings etc.. Ive also heard of families who get a call that says "Im on my way to pick the kid up, have her packed, shes moving to her adoptive home now." and thats the end of the story.Usually its something in the middle. I would try to strike a balance between something that is quiet and personal so she can talk with you if thats what she wants, but also something that has some activity going on so if no one wants to talk you don't have to stare awkwardly at one another for an entire meal or three hours or whatever. The zoo is a pretty great spot for a visit, even with older kids. Plenty to walk around and look at, the visit does not have to be focused on awkward questions, but there are plenty of places to sit and have a personal conversation too. Good luck!
Ive heard of families taking months to transition... new parents joining the family for meals and outtings, then the kids hanging out alone with the new parents, and as they transition more to their new family and are staying over night the foster parents sometimes join the new family for meals and outings etc..
Ive also heard of families who get a call that says "Im on my way to pick the kid up, have her packed, shes moving to her adoptive home now." and thats the end of the story.
Usually its something in the middle.
I would try to strike a balance between something that is quiet and personal so she can talk with you if thats what she wants, but also something that has some activity going on so if no one wants to talk you don't have to stare awkwardly at one another for an entire meal or three hours or whatever.
The zoo is a pretty great spot for a visit, even with older kids. Plenty to walk around and look at, the visit does not have to be focused on awkward questions, but there are plenty of places to sit and have a personal conversation too.
Good luck!
