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We've adopted once from foster care. We are not straight foster so we will only get kids with the intention of adopting. Of course, RU can still happen, but that's not my worry. We have been shown a little over a dozen profiles so far. Of those we've submitted our study twice. One of those was moved to RTC and is no longer available for adoption at this time. The other one, we are just waiting to hear back. I am starting to worry. What if they are horrible? What if we can't do it? What if? We certainly didn't rush into this, and we are committed to our course, but I have started to worry and imagine all kinds of calamities. I'm being stupid, right? Sorry. I guess I am just venting my feelings.
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To add to my above, I wanted to say, part of my worry is that we don't have the experience that so many of you do we a variety of children. Our adopted daughter had a dx of PTSD and RAD. After spending over three years with her, I have to disagree with the RAD. Did she have difficulty attaching? Certainly, but who wouldn't? RAD though? No way. I've read enough about RAD kids to know that my daughter's behaviors were nothing to what others describe. I'd love to believe that my parenting skills were just so phenomenal that we "cured" her, but even I'm not that naive. I do feel that our experience with her has definitely enhanced our abilities to parent, but to say that now that we've done it once, we know everything, would be stupid. We know THIS child. That's about it, and even she throws curve balls every little while. Ok, rant over. I guess I am just looking for some verbal hugs from my adoption community.
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What age is the one you submitted on? I think the best thing you can do is make sure you get all services in place ASAP, if she doesn't have everything she needs set up already. Be their biggest advocate, try to get to know the child but also their fears and issues they may need help dealing with. Even if adoption doesn't work out, then at least you will have set them up with what they need. I know you're not planning on adoption not working out, but that's why the six months is there, for you to know if they fit with your family or not. Of course, I'm sending some (((hugs))), and you definitely are being cautious. It's normal to have these fears, and getting in a support group, if you're not already, is a definite must! I'll pray for peace for you!
