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Hi,
I'm new to this forum. My husband and I started the fost/adopt process last year. We got our license and finished our Home study in May this year. One day after being on the waiting list, we received a call from our SW about a little 11 days old boy who was still in the hopital. My husband and I wanted a low risk case since we are looking to adopt an infant.
The case looked like it was going to be low risk as the bio mom has already a 3 year old in forster care and there was already a date set for TPR and her family couldn't take the baby based on their family history. The bio mom is very young and hasn't really showed up to anything for the first child and the bio dad is pretty much out the picture.
We welcomed Mr Tiny to our house and he has been such a pleasure to have around. He is a great and easy baby and we love him so much already. The bio mom hasn't showed up to any of the court dates so far (4). We met her once at a meeting with the SW but she hasn't had any visit so far. We had one scheduled last month but she end up not coming.
Since then, we hadn't heard from her. Today, I received a phone call from the SW that the bio mom is in an in patient rehab program that could last from 3 months to a year. She wants to start the weekly visits.
I think it's good for her to get her life together but I'm scared because I love Mr Tiny so much that I want him to have the best life.
Our next court date is in December and now I'm not sure what is going to happen. She only started the program yesterday so we will have to see but do you have some recommendations for me on how to handle the situation and should I still stay hopefull about the adoption.
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I have not btdt, but from reading a lot here and other places the best thing you can do is love the little guy and give him a good start in life, but stay realistic. You may end up with him in the end, but it may be a long road to get there if bio mom is going to try to get herself together. And, she may actually get it together, which is good for him, but hard for you.
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I was recently in a similar situation. I had my sibling set for 8 months when I was told they were going to be released to BD in less than a month. Went to court the day they were to be released and the lawyers found a criminal arrest charge that occurred a few days before. Kids are still with me and next month will be a year. Hoping a TPR hearing will follow shortly.
In your case, because mom has had a stagnant history with both kids they may require more from her than just completing the drug program. They may also want parenting classes, a "case free" home, and steady employment. By "case free" I mean a home that does not have any other residents with a history of neglect.
You should be able to ask your CW what are the options. Good luck!