Scared Newbie... HI!??

Hi there, New to the board and new to adoption. Tonight is the second night of the adoption/home-study class. Excited to have found the group. Feeling kind of out and alone. All the adoptive families we know and who are supportive of us all adopted decades ago, so it's hard to pick their brains since so much has changed. I've been really freaking out. I mean, it's mostly good. We both are super excited about this process, it's been a long time coming, and it's finally becoming real. Yet, as great as the social worker we have seems, it's hard not to feel judged in the class. As well as in the paperwork. I know that's the point, and ultimately that's a good thing. But we already feel so unworthy that it just adds to that. Last class was about openness and fears and benefits, etc. I admitted that, even though I logically knew the benefits of having some degree of openness in adoption, and had seen how important it was for members of my family who were adopted to connect with birth families, I still was scared and possessive over those family members have to deal internally with not wanting to scream "hey, you're mine! stop letting them steal you!". Even withing all the jokes and teasing (it was a very light-hearted class), and other potential parents voicing the same fears, I still got this look in the back of the eye of the social worker like she was filing that away as a red flag. I worry that our apartment is too small, that we have too many pets, that we don't make enough money, that our student loans are too high, that since we're both finishing college (we're in our 30's, dropped out and now are back) this will look bad. My history of depression will be a hindrance since I'm no longer on meds (which... I think is a good thing, I've been better for years), the lack of access to really close family support who can help care for an infant will also kick us out of the running, that we both work full time and neither has plans of becoming a SAHP and that we both have significant commutes and sometimes put in extra hours as we're trying to advance our careers will also make us deemed unfit. That i'm a contractor with no PTO or benefits too (DH has them though) will make us look bad. That we're fat will keep us out. And... on and on and on.... I mean... when we tried to adopt our dog we got crap from some of the shelters because of our work schedule, if it was that hard to adopt a dog, how the hell will we ever get approved for a human child!?? DH doesn't even want to tell too many people. We've told my side of the family (though there are few left and in another country) and the close friends who are our references, but he doesn't want to tell his family just yet. But part of the process looks like is finding out family reactions. So... that's a whole other thing... I'm just not sure what fears are real and we need to work on and what are me just being crazy (I have a lot of catastrophic fears. loosing parents young and getting custody of younger sibling will do that to a person). I want to talk to the SW about them, but I'm afraid of showing too much "crazy" and having her think we aren't ready. The fear of rejection by the agency, and then even if we make it, the fear of rejection by all the birth moms is keeping me up at night. Anyway... some intro, huh? Sorry for the vent. Just need to get it out and don't have many places to do it.