Sad tonight

My heart breaks for you. That must be so terribly hard. Keep your faith and pray he comes back. Sometimes kids just need to figure things out and find their path. You have always been there for him and at some point those memories are going to flood back to him. In the meantime, do everything you can to make yourself happy and feel good. Movies, restaurants, shopping... whatever it takes to get your mind off things. And if you get any wind of where he is, forget about ego and grovel!!! Tell him you love him no matter what and that you'll always be there for him.

I'm sorry. Is it something you can work out with perhaps some help from a willing go-between? A week is not long at all. I'm not sure what ID is, I'm guessing it would prevent him joining the military and going off for a couple years? Could it just be time for him to try being independent? It would seem normal to not live at home at that age. I'm glad he is in a safe place, and that you know that.

Thanks for the sympathy. I do know where he is, staying with a friend's family. I suspect that he has told them he was kicked out, but I have not talked to the parent. I don't know how long they will let him stay.He is developmentally several years younger than his age, not to mention financially unable to support himself. I am not leaning towards groveling. He is an adult and living in my home is a privilege. He has the best room in the house, free access a car, and what I feel is an appropriate amount of freedom. I don't expect him to be grateful but I do expect him to follow certain house rules. At this point he does not want to come home and he has not been forced to face the reality of being independent because he is being taken care of. I don't think he will ask to come home until he wears out his welcome everywhere else, but I thought that would have happened by now. He had been calling me daily to tell me he is not coming home. This actually made me believe he was getting closer to coming home, because he was keeping contact. But he hasn't called for 2 days, which is sadder than when he was calling and cursing me out. I am currently keeping myself busy with respite and volunteering...cute little kids who are NOT cursing at me are keeping me sane.

Thanks for the sympathy. I do know where he is, staying with a friend's family. I suspect that he has told them he was kicked out, but I have not talked to the parent. I don't know how long they will let him stay. He is developmentally several years younger than his age, not to mention financially unable to support himself. I am not leaning towards groveling. He is an adult and living in my home is a privilege. He has the best room in the house, free access a car, and what I feel is an appropriate amount of freedom. I don't expect him to be grateful but I do expect him to follow certain house rules. At this point he does not want to come home and he has not been forced to face the reality of being independent because he is being taken care of. I don't think he will ask to come home until he wears out his welcome everywhere else, but I thought that would have happened by now. He had been calling me daily to tell me he is not coming home. This actually made me believe he was getting closer to coming home, because he was keeping contact. But he hasn't called for 2 days, which is sadder than when he was calling and cursing me out. I am currently keeping myself busy with respite and volunteering...cute little kids who are NOT cursing at me are keeping me sane.

Some kids just have to learn stuff the hard way. My oldest bio son struggled, which I wasn't really expecting, since I also have a kid with RAD. He has finally figured out responsibility. I had one sister who had to be allowed to hit rock bottom before she would take responsibility for her actions and start growing up. I think parenting only gets harder after 18, when they are 2 you can pick them up and move them, you have control over where they go and what they see and who they spend time with. So much easier.