bedroom question - bio kids?

Thanks for the info! Definitely something to consider. It kind of surprises me that they would have authority to decide where my biological kids sleep. That definitely puts limits on what we could do if it is that way in our state/county. Part of the charm and appeal of our house is the doors to the outside and since my husband and I plan to retire here, we want those doors. We need to put in new doors, but we want doors in those areas none the less. One leads to the deck, the other is used for bringing larger pieces of furniture into the house (stuff that won't fit through our crazy narrow front door) and the one upstairs is necessary for the balcony. I guess my option would be to just get licensed for one child at a time. Seems kind of crazy considering the amount of bedrooms we have. We have friends who foster who often have 3-4 foster kids (babies) at a time along with their bio daughter (teenager) and adopted son (school aged) and they only have a 3 bedroom house. I'm not sure what arrangements they have for everyone sleeping, but I've been in their house and it is tiny.

The reason for telling you where your own kids sleep and how to raise when it comes to fostering is because they dont want the foster child to feel different. These kids already have trauma. So by treating them the same as your bio kids can help them feel more like part of the family. When you said your friend has taken in 4 babies, what were those ages? A baby, aka infant, is age 0-2. In most areas, only 2 children ages 0-2 can be in the home when fostering (unless you happen to get a sib group of 3 where the ages are 0, 1, 2 (that is how it was with me when I was placed in foster care)).So maybe the 3rd and 4th "baby" was in fact 3-4? I know many of the kids are behind. There are 3 year olds who are like a baby and dont even know how to walk yet. So maybe that is why they look like babies?? Is that 3 bedroom including parents room or 3 bedrooms in addition to their own (such as house itself is 4)? In my county, they dont go by how many rooms are in the home, rather how many bedrooms are actually available to take in at least 1 child (2 max each room here). So my house is a 4 bedroom home, but we have 2 bedrooms available (my mom lives with me) and are allowed up to four kids max (no bio kids here). We are licensed for 3 children max because we requested only 3 instead of 4 because of car arrangements. We have 2 cars, but each car can only fit 3 kids with carseats in backseat....so with 4, we would have had to of used both cars for traveling or buy a van....so we chose 3. I have seen those skinny doors you are talking about. We stayed away from that because of that furniture issue, so I can understand the reasoning behind the bigger doors you have. Advice, ask for 2-4 kids, however many you think you can be approved for. The licensing people and SW will come out for inspections and homestudy so they will change the number once they see the your actual set up. So don't worry about that right now until they come out. Make sure you talk to your social worker whenever you need answers pertaining to your county. As I said, the above is for my county (Riverside county) and most counties here in California. I am not sure how your state/county operates so rules may be different. I have heard that there are in fact some counties, not many, but some in other states that will allow 3 kids per room instead of 2 if the room is a specific size or larger. Not sure if it is true, but you never know. Good Luck!

I had a reply all written out and the forum ate it. LOLAnyway, I totally understand wanting to keep things even and fair between all kids in the household. I wouldn't dream of singling out any child. To me, it just doesn't seem like something that a kid would pick up on and feel like they were being treated differently. I mean, a bedroom is a bedroom. I guess maybe because it isn't on my radar (nor would my own kids care) that doesn't mean it wouldn't be on someone's radar. Then again though, does that mean a child with a smaller room would feel less loved than a child with a larger room? Its a lot to think about. I could maybe see an older child think of a door to the outside as an escape plan, but since that wouldn't be a concern for my kids, it didn't cross my mind that it would matter if one of them were sleeping in such a room. Come to think of it, the room we use as an office with an outside entrance also has no window. We've been thinking of adding one but haven't gotten around to it yet and since there is the sliding glass door that is good enough for us as far as a fire escape, bringing in daylight and ventilation. Anyway, given that as it is, our options are limited. Here's the thing... in our state kids are required 45 sq feet of bedroom space. The room we have sitting empty upstairs is 84 sq feet. It isn't quite large enough for 2 children (and, honestly, I can't imagine two in there anyway unless they were infants). Right next door, my 9 year old has a room that is large enough to be licensed for two but that would mean making him leave the room he's been in since he was 2. It's the only one he remembers so there is some attachment there. He has already said he would move into the smaller room if we needed him to, but I wouldn't want him to have any reason to resent a child that comes into the home.Our house has lots of space, it just isn't the most conventional space. Before I loved how flexible our space is. Now I am finding it to be a bit of a thorn in my side. Ideally, we would like to adopt two children. In a perfect world they would be a boy/girl sibling pair. The world isn't perfect and I know that our hearts will have a lot more to say about it than our heads. My son wants a little brother and my daughter wants a little sister so that would be ideal to make them both happy is all. ;) Also, ideally, I would want them to be younger than my biological children so that we keep the birth order and give my youngest a chance to be 'big brother' like he's always dreamed. Of course we understand completely that with fostering that adoption is not guaranteed and not even the goal for the child, though it may be the goal we have for our family. I know much of this is just us dreaming, but you have to start somewhere I think. We have to have an idea of what would work for our family.The friends I mentioned have 3 bedrooms total, as in 2 bedrooms for kids and 1 for them. They often take in children under 1 but they do get toddler ages too and they have had a few sibling groups. However, I still don't know how they are licensed as they would have to have their teenaged bio daughter in a bedroom and their school aged adopted son in a bedroom and that wouldn't leave any place for the other kids unless they are young enough to room in with them or share a room with one of their kids. They had two older bio daughters living at home when they first started fostering. They moved them into a room together and set up the 3rd bedroom for placements. Their first placement was a 2 year old boy who they adopted 3 years later. Anyway, lots for me to think about. I wonder if I can convince my husband we need to move? LOL We love our neighborhood and like the house and such, it just isn't working out so well when it comes to wanting to foster. I'd give up our bedroom but since it also has an outside door it wouldn't help us any. We would probably not want to be licensed for more than 2 because of vehicle issues and such as well. We have a 7 passenger mini van and a 5 passenger SUV. Having more than 4 kids would make it hard for everyone to fit. Hubby drives the SUV and could get 4 kids in there with him as our oldest daughter can ride in the front seat and our 9 year old no longer requires a booster (he uses one, but by the time we went through this process he would be closer to 10, I'm sure).

I had a reply all written out and the forum ate it. LOL Anyway, I totally understand wanting to keep things even and fair between all kids in the household. I wouldn't dream of singling out any child. To me, it just doesn't seem like something that a kid would pick up on and feel like they were being treated differently. I mean, a bedroom is a bedroom. I guess maybe because it isn't on my radar (nor would my own kids care) that doesn't mean it wouldn't be on someone's radar. Then again though, does that mean a child with a smaller room would feel less loved than a child with a larger room? Its a lot to think about. I could maybe see an older child think of a door to the outside as an escape plan, but since that wouldn't be a concern for my kids, it didn't cross my mind that it would matter if one of them were sleeping in such a room. Come to think of it, the room we use as an office with an outside entrance also has no window. We've been thinking of adding one but haven't gotten around to it yet and since there is the sliding glass door that is good enough for us as far as a fire escape, bringing in daylight and ventilation. Anyway, given that as it is, our options are limited. Here's the thing... in our state kids are required 45 sq feet of bedroom space. The room we have sitting empty upstairs is 84 sq feet. It isn't quite large enough for 2 children (and, honestly, I can't imagine two in there anyway unless they were infants). Right next door, my 9 year old has a room that is large enough to be licensed for two but that would mean making him leave the room he's been in since he was 2. It's the only one he remembers so there is some attachment there. He has already said he would move into the smaller room if we needed him to, but I wouldn't want him to have any reason to resent a child that comes into the home. Our house has lots of space, it just isn't the most conventional space. Before I loved how flexible our space is. Now I am finding it to be a bit of a thorn in my side. Ideally, we would like to adopt two children. In a perfect world they would be a boy/girl sibling pair. The world isn't perfect and I know that our hearts will have a lot more to say about it than our heads. My son wants a little brother and my daughter wants a little sister so that would be ideal to make them both happy is all. ;) Also, ideally, I would want them to be younger than my biological children so that we keep the birth order and give my youngest a chance to be 'big brother' like he's always dreamed. Of course we understand completely that with fostering that adoption is not guaranteed and not even the goal for the child, though it may be the goal we have for our family. I know much of this is just us dreaming, but you have to start somewhere I think. We have to have an idea of what would work for our family. The friends I mentioned have 3 bedrooms total, as in 2 bedrooms for kids and 1 for them. They often take in children under 1 but they do get toddler ages too and they have had a few sibling groups. However, I still don't know how they are licensed as they would have to have their teenaged bio daughter in a bedroom and their school aged adopted son in a bedroom and that wouldn't leave any place for the other kids unless they are young enough to room in with them or share a room with one of their kids. They had two older bio daughters living at home when they first started fostering. They moved them into a room together and set up the 3rd bedroom for placements. Their first placement was a 2 year old boy who they adopted 3 years later. Anyway, lots for me to think about. I wonder if I can convince my husband we need to move? LOL We love our neighborhood and like the house and such, it just isn't working out so well when it comes to wanting to foster. I'd give up our bedroom but since it also has an outside door it wouldn't help us any. We would probably not want to be licensed for more than 2 because of vehicle issues and such as well. We have a 7 passenger mini van and a 5 passenger SUV. Having more than 4 kids would make it hard for everyone to fit. Hubby drives the SUV and could get 4 kids in there with him as our oldest daughter can ride in the front seat and our 9 year old no longer requires a booster (he uses one, but by the time we went through this process he would be closer to 10, I'm sure).

You could also consider kids sharing rooms, if you wanted. Here, they can share with same gender if they are over 5, boys and girls can share age 5 and under. So, your son or daughter could share a room with a foster child of the same gender. That way, you would be able to accommodate more children. I have two bedrooms in my home (another room that could be a bedroom, but would take some renovation, and I don't want to give up the play room, plus I want us all sleeping on the same floor, at least for now). Kids here need 40 sq ft per child/ 60 sq ft per room (minimum). My son's room is about the same size as your free room, and I don't feel good about it for two kids, either. I was only willing to take babies at first, so I kept our rooms as they are; since I'm moving into okay with toddlers (based on kid age), I will be moving to that room, and my son will be in my room (which, according to licensing, could fit 3, but I wouldn't). I know other families whose bio or adopted kids have shared rooms with fosters. Just another idea.

More things to consider. :) I thought I read somewhere that bio kids and foster kids can't share a room. It may vary by area, I guess? My son's room may not be quite as big as I thought, so probably wouldn't work for 2. I measured it and though it seems a lot bigger it isn't really large. My daughter's room would have been big enough but we just bought her a new bed today. We moved her from a twin to a full and now there is no way a second bed will fit in her room. LOL I don't think it would hurt for us to start with being licensed for one child. It would rule out sibling pairs, but really, one family helped is one family helped, right?

More things to consider. :) I thought I read somewhere that bio kids and foster kids can't share a room. It may vary by area, I guess? My son's room may not be quite as big as I thought, so probably wouldn't work for 2. I measured it and though it seems a lot bigger it isn't really large. My daughter's room would have been big enough but we just bought her a new bed today. We moved her from a twin to a full and now there is no way a second bed will fit in her room. LOL I don't think it would hurt for us to start with being licensed for one child. It would rule out sibling pairs, but really, one family helped is one family helped, right?

Make sure you talk to the county SW regarding the bedrooms as it does differ from county to county, state to state. In my county foster and bio can share the same room as long it is no more than 2 kids in each room and they are the same gender if over age 5. Size of rooms do not matter here (it might in other counties though), so 2 per room no matter what the size is. Have you considered bunk beds? In my county that is allowed as long as the oldest is at the top bunk (age 6 and older). That might be an option for the smaller rooms. Regarding the full size bed, I have seen bunk beds that allow full size on the bottom bunk and twin on the top. The ladder would be at the foot of bed so it wouldnt be a problem getting up there. Maybe look into something like that, then she could keep her full and still accommodate another child on a twin. As I said, maybe ask for sib group of 2-3 and let the SW and licensing people determine the actual number you can have. You can also run this situation by the SW at orientation (like afterwards). They can tell you for sure. Also, if you are able to have bio and foster in one room, keep in mind, some of the children may have been sexually abused. So if you do get a child like that, you need to be careful about them sharing a room with your own as some do sometimes act out on that abuse and sometimes will molest or rape your own children. So be very cautious on that. GOOD LUCK!

You can turn your bed room sliding door in to a wall. Right? If possible I would do that.

We could. It just doesn't make sense for the layout of our house. The sliding glass door is our backyard access. We do have another (single) door off of the kitchen but we use the sliding door way more often to access the back yard. It truly IS a possibility though. It will take some thought before we decide for sure. Closing it in would also mean something some kind of siding on the house which opens up a whole other can of works. LOL My daughter's room is the only one that would be large enough to share, from what I've read on my state guidelines. She's 12 and we would be considering younger children, so I wouldn't want her to have to share her room. She's up super early 3 days a week for extra curricular activities and that would be rough on a little one trying to sleep.

Have you checked what the rules are for your area? Where I am, there are truly not many "rules" for bedrooms its mostly on a case by case basis. If you were not using the door as a main exit it wouldn't be problem. It kind of sounds like maybe you are using the door, in which case it changes the room from a bedroom to a hallway. There are also no real rules for room sharing it just comes down to each situation what may be appropriate. All in all- it's worth checking out! Good luck!

This depends on the area too. Bios and fosters can share a room in my area. Same gender does not even have an age limit, so a baby could room with my bio teen. You are right. One family helped is one helped, and we can only do what we can do.

Start with asking for however many kids you think you can handle and whatever ages you want. Let the licensing worker tell you what the local regulations are and cut you back to the number they feel is acceptable. In many cases, no matter what the usual local regulations say, it is possible to get a variance with a safety plan in place. Example: they might not typically allow foster children or bio-children in rooms with outside exits BUT they need foster homes so they can sometimes make an exception, especially for your bio children. They might ask about a safety plan to be sure the kids don't leave at night or have an unpleasant visitor. Your house alarm might be enough, especially if it will alarm no matter whether the door is opened from inside of forced from outside. Or if there's another potential fire exit, they may have you put one of those bar things at the top to prevent the door from being opened or ask you to switch it out for a different type of (safer) glass. Or they might only license you for one initially...but once you've proven yourself as a foster parent as soon as they need you to take a sibling group, be happy to get you a variance for a room with an outside door. All of my bedrooms except the master are TINY, around the same size as your smallest because the house is OLD. So old that my steps don't meet modern building codes and my basements used to have dirt floors. I have had multiple offers to get me a variance to put siblings in one of those tiny rooms and let me go over the 6-child limit. I've even had suggestions that even though it's technically not allowed, if I want to put DD in one of the (now very nicely finished) basement rooms that we use for extra living rooms as a bedroom, they would be happy to fix things to allow it as long as I could prove she could get out in a fire.

Thanks for the info! We put this all to the back burner for a little while. We are starting to consider the idea now of purchasing a different home. We need to come to some decisions, that's for sure! Someone mentioned the room serving as a hall if we used the door as a main exit. The door in question is definitely not a main exit. We use the door occasionally. Mostly it is used to let the dogs in and out of the house. Or it was. Now the dogs have access through a series of doggy doors going through the garage so we rarely open the sliding glass door down here (where we would consider moving our daughter to). The door leads into our side yard which is part of the area which is fenced with a 6 foot privacy fence so it isn't as though someone from the street would just walk up and try to break into it. They would have to know that door is there.I just know there are so many kids in our area needing homes. Our school district got 20 new kids (across elementary and middle school) after Christmas break. 14 of those kids are foster or shelter kids. Some of our foster parents have more kids than what I'm told is allowable by our state. I'm guessing they have a variance in place to take on more because of the need in our area.

Thanks for the info! We put this all to the back burner for a little while. We are starting to consider the idea now of purchasing a different home. We need to come to some decisions, that's for sure! Someone mentioned the room serving as a hall if we used the door as a main exit. The door in question is definitely not a main exit. We use the door occasionally. Mostly it is used to let the dogs in and out of the house. Or it was. Now the dogs have access through a series of doggy doors going through the garage so we rarely open the sliding glass door down here (where we would consider moving our daughter to). The door leads into our side yard which is part of the area which is fenced with a 6 foot privacy fence so it isn't as though someone from the street would just walk up and try to break into it. They would have to know that door is there. I just know there are so many kids in our area needing homes. Our school district got 20 new kids (across elementary and middle school) after Christmas break. 14 of those kids are foster or shelter kids. Some of our foster parents have more kids than what I'm told is allowable by our state. I'm guessing they have a variance in place to take on more because of the need in our area.