Removed from 3rd daycare

My 2.5 year old is being removed from our 3rd daycare center due to his "special needs" (their words). His OT therapist was at daycare this morning to observe him due to some aggressive behavior we have noticed since he moved into the 3 yr old class (He was moved up because he was physically bigger than the other 2 yrs old and they were getting hurt.) The teachers made comments to the therapist about how they are not equipped for "special needs" and pretty much saying that they do not have the time to monitor and work with my son because of the other children. I feel like I will be blindsided (again) with a phone call for immediate removal. He has not been diagnosed with anything conditions other than Nystagmus (involuntary movement of his eyes) and has some sensory processing issues. He still likes to put EVERYTHING in his mouth. He is very active and needs a lot of sleep. If he does not sleep well at night then it will more than likely be a bad day for everyone. He is unpredictable, easily frustrated and hard to calm down and has been this way since we got him at 3 months old. He was born addicted to methadone and exposed to cocaine. Biomom probably did crack throughout the pregnancy. He spent 6 weeks in the NICU and 6 weeks with Biomom before coming to our home. He had a lot of different caregivers during the first year of his life. I dont think he became comfortable with us as Mama and Daddy until after his 1st birthday. How much information you would share with the new daycare center? I don't want my son labeled as a drug baby or problem child before he walks through the door but I need to know that the facility can handle the level of care he needs. Please feel free to ask any questions! TIA

Have you checked him for early intervention? An EI program. I would check with that. Also public schools should have programs for special needs. Is he really smart? Maybe he might do well with older kids.

Some kids just don't do well in day care. You may need to consider finding an in-home caregiver. If a nanny or babysitter who cares for only one child is too expensive, consider looking for a nannyshare arrangement, where you find a family with a similar schedule to yours and a child compatible with yours, and either search for a nanny together or agree to use the family's existing caregiver.By the way, get rid of the notion that you don't want to label your child. There's nothing shameful about special needs. Use the language you need in order to get the services your child needs. If he has sensory issues, say so. If he has nystagmus, say so. If a doctor believes that your son's behavior is related to a history of prenatal exposure to substances, that's OK, too. After all, your son didn't use drugs, and didn't cause the possible damage to his developing brain. If a day care center knows the facts, it will be able to tell you, before you enroll your son, that it cannot meet his needs -- and that's a lot better than waiting to hear that you must remove your child.Also, prenatal exposure to alcohol often goes along with prenatal exposure to drugs; it's harder to diagnose, as many women who use alcohol during pregnancy are sober at the time of hospital admission and aren't truthful about what and how much they have consumed. Alcohol exposure can actually cause worse behavioral symptoms than drug exposure -- for example, an inability to control impulses or understand the consequences of an action. So be sure that your son has a workup by someone familiar with some of the issues adopted children face, including prenatal exposure to both drugs and alcohol. Then work with a specialist to design some programs to help him maximize his potential and minimize bad habits. As an example, some children do better when they sleep or nap with a weighted blanket. And some kids with sensory issues find it helpful to wear a necklace or bracelet of special objects that are designed to be chewedSharon