Updates

June 12, 2015

First things first, following up on my post about BB not wanting to be adopted - He is still holding firm to that decision and has even resorted to completely isolating himself and will only speak to anyone to say things such as "when I go home I'm getting a new Xbox and a dog" and other things of this nature. He refuses to speak to us at all, he sits with his eyes focused on his plate at meals and won't make eye contact. He has begun to forbid his therapist to share anything with us, previously he would allow him to tell us things so we could know what to work on at home. I guess it is safe to say that he is not doing well. Spoke to worker and she is not concerned and is more upset that she has to pay for therapy notes than him withdrawing. We are set to have a sit down with her in two weeks. We already spoke with the CASA and told him that we are not seeking adoption and she will learn of this at the meeting. She will not be happy. I have also learned that mom has gone above and beyond to get herself together in the past month, she is in therapy weekly, on medication and living in adult group home while looking for a place to live. She managed to get her old job back and is trying to stay stable. I wrote her a letter back on mothers day from one mom to another letter her know that her kids love her and miss her and do not deserve to have her checking out on them. I told her that she needed to get herself together and learn to do what is right or she could lose them forever. I never thought she would read the letter or even take it serious but something must have struck a nerve. CW is upset that I even wrote the letter and says I should leave well enough alone. This case has been going wrong from the start. G-Ma wants visits but CW wont allow it because she says the kids need a clean break, WTH?! she is blocking these kids from all family that shows interest in them and I plan to contact her supervisor to look into this and see why she is being allowed to unilaterally make these decisions.
Update on new placement we will call Nugget: mom signed rights immediately, no questions asked and no looking back. NOW we have a potential dad in another state that we have to wait for a DNA test for and I am not happy. I know I should be glad that they found him but from what I understand he has no genuine interest. He plainly said that mom was a "hook up" and he didn't speak to her afterwards. We were cautiously optimistic when they said mom was willing to waive rights and that the case should go smoothly, now we see that smooth does not mean smooth. In two weeks our entire family, to include grandparents have fallen in love with Nugget and we can see him in our family. He is such a great baby and so adorable. For a long time we hesitated to take babies and this is why, we are ultimately an adoptive home and having him here during the important bonding time will make having him leave so painful if it comes to that. Is it wrong that I am kinda hoping that this potential dad decides that he is not interested? The CW and investigator say that he is much older that the mom and seems to have an established lifestyle but are not positive that it is conducive with having a newborn. Either way i just pray that the best decision is made with Nuggets best interest in mind.
I will update again for anyone that may be interested as things unfold. Take care all.

Last update on June 12, 9:21 am by momtastic.

blueflower

June 15, 2015

Wow, what different cases. You never know what is going to happen.

Thanks for the updates. I wonder at times what has been happening with whom (and their kids). While it may not be easy getting the silent treatment, I hope it is better than the trash-my-room-and-scream treatment.

How long do you think the DNA test results will take?

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momtastic

June 17, 2015

Well at this point I am writing for my own comfort and peace of mind. Took nugget to get DNA and potential dad is a nice guy who seems extremely interested in nugget. My heart shattered into a million pieces when reality hit me, he could be leaving us as soon as the results come back. The worker is basically already drawing up the paperwork to have him move. We started this journey 8 years ago to adopt and til this day have yet to do so. I am officially burned out emotionally. I can not keep up at this pace. I admire those that can do this for so long and watch these kids come and go. We gave up our last potential adoptive placement because it was in his best interest and he is doing wonderfully as an only child, he needs that in order to develop and flourish. It hurt my heart to watch him go but we get to stay in touch with him. I can only hope that this dad will allow the same. I have said before that I wanted to call it quits but DH talked me into not giving up, well I have to say that this is the final case for me, i am too emotionally wrecked to keep it up.
**Blueflower - we were told to expect anywhere from one week to one month. No guarantees on time frame. Original investigator said judge ordered an expedited DNA test which should be back in one week but new worker today said expect it back in a month.

Last update on June 17, 6:17 pm by momtastic.