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Hello,
So my husband and I have had our fd 2 and fd 4 since the end of July/beginning of August. In September their goal was changed to adoption and we became a foster to adopt home for our girls. Our intention is to adopt the girls. The girls have now been in five homes counting us (nothing to do with the girls.) plus were with the grandmother a little less than a year before that. The biological grandma, aunt and biological mother all want us to adopt the girls because we allow the girls to have contact with the biological family. Well yesterday the sw comes for a home visit and informs us that a lady from Texas has now come forward and is trying to get the girls placed with her. This lady was once married to the bio moms half brother but is no longer married to this man so now has no connection to the family. We live in Ky and the girls and Bio family are all in Ky. The sw worker says this lady wants to Skype with us before the girls are moved there and doesn't just want to move them there out of nowhere. The sw told the lady she would have to ask us. The sw also tells us she may put in the request but it was unlikely for the placement to happen. I'm not sure why she would give a non-relative the time of day or why a request would even be made at all... Also what does a request mean and how likely is it that my girls will be sent to live in Texas away from all family and friends???
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Depending on the state an ex-inlaw can be still a relative. In fact if my husband and I were to divorce we would actually still both be considered the same level relative by the state the kids we have come from.
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Even if that relative has never even met the children and has no connection to the biological family and has no biological cousins for the girls?
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Like all relative placements it is less likely she will get the kids if she does not know them. This does not however mean she won't get the kids. A HUGE part of this would be how responsive the social worker is and how much effort this woman is willing to put forward. Finally you could avoid all this is Bio Mom wants you to adopt she can ask the caseworker about a directed relinquishment. Which means she would sign off her parental rights on the condition the children are adopted by you.
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Totally depends
I adopted an out of state relative who i hadn't met. The technical connection was she is half sibling of my second cousin
Mitigating factors
1 - jurisdiction - every state is different
2 - prior relationship with child
3 - ties to bio family (even though my cousin ended up not being her biological dad, J had a relationship with my family, which i am able to foster)
4) bonding with current caretakers
5) ability to relative to pass background check
6) proximity of other state
7) phase of the moon
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