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I currently have a sibling group of 2 in our care. We have done the 6 months fostering but now the worker wants to take more time .... One of the girls just turned 14 and have the right to say if she wants to be adopted. She told us in a family meeting that she don't want to be adopted right now. We were shocked because she never said one word then the 9yr wants to go to another home because she says we are too strict. Me and my husband have been very patient during the entire process but now I feel that the workers are dropping the ball. We are so lost.....
A lot of teens do not want to be adopted. That is one of the reasons why some folks do Guardianship of them. As for the younger child, I wouldn't worry too much. Adjusting from non-functional parents to a functional family always increases "strictness" since the functional family will have rules, like bed times, meals, chores etc...
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In previous placements the parents would try to buy her things so she could act better but we don't operate that way. The only part of this whole situation is that her workers knew she was undecided at first but never made us aware of it. We feel left out of the loop.