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Hi everyone this is my first post here. I joined because I was just reunited with my birth family two days ago at the age of 29.
For nearly thirty years I've thought about finding my birth mom and imagining how I would feel or what she'd be like. I guess I always assumed she didn't want me, and that she was probably a drug addict the way my adoptive mom talked about her. Once I had my original birth certificate, within a few hours I had found not only my birth mom and dad but six biological siblings.
I never expected the reunion to make me feel so differently about my adoptive family. I never imagined that just talking to them over facebook and seeing pictures, that I would feel such deep connection and love. I always thought they would feel like perfect strangers to me, and that my adoptive family would always feel like my family. It's worth mentioning that I was quite severely abused by my adoptive parents and siblings. As of recently I'm not in contact with any of them. I'd been really struggling with leaving my family behind, but the unexpected thing is that since finding my birth family I feel so much less connected to them. I never expected to feel like I was sent away from my real family and raised by abusive strangers. To feel like I was never meant to be separated, which is exacerbated by the fact that my mom actually did want to keep me but was lied to and exploited by the adoption agency. I also learned that my mom and siblings have gone through a lot of trauma during the past thirty years while I've been gone. The grief is really overwhelming and unexpected.
I just needed to share this, and hopefully hear from someone who can understand. Thanks.
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Hi everyone this is my first post here. I joined because I was just reunited with my birth family two days ago at the age of 29. For nearly thirty years I've thought about finding my birth mom and imagining how I would feel or what she'd be like. I guess I always assumed she didn't want me, and that she was probably a drug addict the way my adoptive mom talked about her. Once I had my original birth certificate, within a few hours I had found not only my birth mom and dad but six biological siblings. I never expected the reunion to make me feel so differently about my adoptive family. I never imagined that just talking to them over facebook and seeing pictures, that I would feel such deep connection and love. I always thought they would feel like perfect strangers to me, and that my adoptive family would always feel like my family. It's worth mentioning that I was quite severely abused by my adoptive parents and siblings. As of recently I'm not in contact with any of them. I'd been really struggling with leaving my family behind, but the unexpected thing is that since finding my birth family I feel so much less connected to them. I never expected to feel like I was sent away from my real family and raised by abusive strangers. To feel like I was never meant to be separated, which is exacerbated by the fact that my mom actually did want to keep me but was lied to and exploited by the adoption agency. I also learned that my mom and siblings have gone through a lot of trauma during the past thirty years while I've been gone. The grief is really overwhelming and unexpected. I just needed to share this, and hopefully hear from someone who can understand. Thanks.
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I have recently reunited with my birth father, and I also expected that he would feel like a stranger to me, and I was surprised that he did not. I was completely caught off-guard by how familiar and comfortable it felt meeting him. I am still searching for my biological mother. I would love to hear how your relationship with your birth family and adoptive family is progressing.
Hi Alex,We are so happy that you have reunited with loved ones and even more so that your experience has been so positive. The uncertainty of the unknown is so difficult. We are saddened to hear about your abuse as a child. We often can not control our circumstances, however we can keep a positive outlook and attitude. Look towards to the future in all that you have going for you with your birth family and siblings. God Bless
When I became involved in the adoption community, I was surprised to learn how important biological connections are to people on a psychological level . . . connecting with people who are physiologically like you is more important than I had ever thought.
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I think that kind of emotional pressure to disregard the role of your birth family can come from adoptive parents and the messages they send their children about adoption . . . even when parents make an effort to say "We'll support you in your efforts to connect with your birth family" other, seemingly positive and loving messages - "love makes a family," etc. - can sometimes feel to an adopted child like a message that their birth families aren't important.
Hi. I'm nearly 64 and found my bio family over 25 yrs ago kinda by accident. Had wonderful adoptive parents and family. Never really felt an urge to find something that was missing, it jus kinda of happened although I always knew I was adopted with no problems with it. Some reunion stories sound like the connection with bio family is very strong, but not mine really. The grandparents raised their children unruly to say the least and it ran n the family, soooo, I know how grateful I am to have been rescued and adopted. The parents are all decd now and there's relationship with a couple siblings that I do cherish. It's not fair, in my judgment to make adoptees feel they should naturally need to find bios..it's not! Most often, the story's not some romantic 'poor me' story about the bios. I am searching for 2 missing bio half sisters who were adopted. KarenSueGray born 6/14/55 in Martins Ferry, OH and ReginaMarieAlvey born 7/21/56 in Columbus, GA. .are their original names. Any help would be terrific. Ohio will let you have original birth certs now for certain years from the Office of Vital Stats in Columbus, OH. and your adoption file, just not any identifying info about location of family. Good luck and God Bless any searchers.