Advertisements
I would say that almost all of our family has been incredibly supportive of our adoption, but we have had a few relatives say extremely rude things about our choice to adopt. Unfortunately one of those people is my dad. We haven't had a great relationship anyway since he and my mom divorced, but his response to adopting our son has been hurtful even though we aren't close. My dad has made negative comments to our family members about us adopting and about something being wrong with me because I've never carried a child full term, resulting in 4 losses. He has asked me multiple time what's wrong with our son, since his mom didn't want him. It feels pointless to even try to explain to him again that it wasn't about his birth mom wanting him because something was wrong with him. She wanted him to have a life that she felt she was unable to provide as a single mother. Our son is beautiful and healthy. Have there been family members you completely cut out of your life because their toxic view of adoption? I feel like my mama bear is coming out big time!
Like
Share
I know a couple of people who have had to distance themselves from certain family members because of this. As tough as that is, sometimes it's necessary. It's not healthy for adoptees to be around people who say negative things about adoption because it will start to affect the way they see themselves. Under no circumstances is it okay for an adopted child to hear that they are not wanted by their birth parents or that the only reason they were adopted is because theres something "wrong" so their adoptive parents can't have biological kids. Your son is too little to understand now, but he won't always be. Hopefully time will change things and your father will become more accepting, but if he's not, sometimes the only way to handle it is to create some distance.
Advertisements
I completely agree. I never want my son to hear those kinds of things, especially from people who are supposed to be loving and supportive. Thankfully aside from a select few, our families have been AMAZING! My husband's parents got to be there in the room with us when the nurses brought him into our room at the hospital and they both said it is one of their favorite memories. My husband's dad, who is normally very quiet and stern, was in tears the first time he held his newest grandson. I have never seen him so emotional and I hope my dad becomes more accepting. If not, he's missing out on meeting an incredible kid and that is his loss!