We Won! BEXAR COUNTY Contested Adoption - Process Thus Far

I'll give you the background information first because I know every case is unique: So I gave birth to my daughter when I was merely 17 years young. I lost my boyfriend and my daughter lost her dad to drug addiction before she was ever born, he was also 17 at the time. He's not deceased, but his addiction is the only thing he truly loves and that matters to him, so we lost him in that sense. My daughter is almost 12 now, and her bio-father has always been in and out of jail for drugs, theft, etc. her whole life. She really has no idea who he is. They've met, she's even had visits with him before, but that was over 8 years ago. We went through our fair share of custody battles (mainly with his parent's money because grandma wanted to raise her and he didn't want to pay child support) My now husband has been raising her since she was 4, we've been married 7 years. Husband wants to adopt her, daughter agrees to it, we contacted a lawyer. Timeline: April 12, 2017 - I contacted a lawyer, explained the situation, he agreed to take on the case. April 13, 2017- Signed the lawyer's agreement, gave payment May 9, 2017 - Filed Termination on grounds of FINANCIAL ABANDONMENT - only 10 small payments (maybe) in 11 years/no payments since 2015 May 9, 2017 - Filed Adoption paperwork May 9, 2017 - Request for Process (getting him served) May 12, 2017 - He was served in county jail June 9, 2017 - Fingerprinting was done - we delayed it because of work schedule, cost $30, took 2 weeks to get results June 12, 2017 - Bio Father's deadline to respond to being served, he didn't. June 19, 2017 - Motion for social study was filed June 20, 2017 - Had to notarize Affidavit of Interstate Compact July 29, 2017 - Social Study was done - took 20 minutes of paperwork and a few questions. Took the worker a month just to set an appointment. August 22, 2017 - DFPS report came back clear Now we are waiting for our case worker to file it with the courts tomorrow or Tuesday. Next step I believe is filing everything with the courts and getting a court date. And as of the 22nd of this month, he is in jail again.

I'm confused -- why do you think it's contested? Nothing you've typed indicates that it's contested, in fact, his lack of response, indicates he's just fine with it. Bexar County is VERY adoption friendly -- in fact, the vast majority of adoptions done in Texas are filed in Bexar, because it is so adoption friendly and quick on the process. If he was served and he failed to response, that acts as his response -- by default, he's answering "I don't care". In my opinion, the lack of response also adds 'cause' to your case for abandonment. He doesn't pay and doesn't even have time to deal with legal matters related to the child. His current living situation would also come in to play -- as he can't be a 'father' from jail. As for the grandparents -- Texas doesn't recognize Grandparents rights, until the legal parent is deceased, so even if the father decided NOT to participate in the proceedings, his mother can't stand up and demand she be seen as a de-facto defendant in the case, because she has no standing. What does your lawyer stay?

My ex is one of those types of people who will do things just to spite me because somewhere along the line he grew this seething hatred for me. I don't know where it came from, he's the one who left us when I was 17 weeks pregnant, we rarely have ever even communicated over the years, and when we did he was either insulting me or using this monotone voice like everything I said to him is a waste of his time because "I'm just sooo stupid and he knows everything". So, I figured he probably wouldn't voluntarily sign over his rights even if I asked him nicely and explained that it's in the best interest of our daughter. He has no interest in doing anything that would make me happy. I explained his personality to my lawyer. Therefore it was his idea to go ahead and skip sending the voluntarily relinquish paperwork and acting as if it's contested and filing to involuntary termination. I'm sure him not responding will have a great impact and maybe change it to uncontested or it will default, I'm not a lawyer so I have no clue.. but that's just how we originally had to file the paperwork. I hope this makes sense.

Okay -- I misread, I thought you'd said he'd already terminated. Okay, so he was served and given X days to respond and he didn't. Well, at this point, if he hasn't responded and consented, it's already basically 'contested' -- the lack of response will likely require the Involuntary Termination of Parental Rights. What did your attorney serve him for? What type of notification was it? Was it for notification of the case? TPR?That's where I'm getting confused. Typically, it's all done in one "sitting" -- rights are terminated, adoption granted. If he served him with notice of upcoming case and he didn't respond and he doesn't show for court, I would think that'd be all that is required to terminate. He's been given the option of asserting his right, but has declined to do so. I wouldn't imagine they'd have you show up the day of court and tell you that it's going to be 90 more days while they process the biological father and terminate. I don't know -- in all of the cases I've been involved in (and none of them were Texas), a no-show/no-response father ends up with a default judgement of Termination. After all, it is a case being heard by the judge because he has proven in the past that he has abandoned her -- financial or not, judges know crappy parents exist and they know crappy parents fight just for the sake of fighting. Hang in there -- it will be worth it. I Remember when my ex-husband adopted my son, the process of Terminating was gut wrenching. I was a ball of nerves and I hoped every day that he wouldn't be a jerk about it. I retained an attorney where he lived (TN) and had him served and thankfully, the process server hadn't even been able to get his car in Reverse before biological dad was on the phone with the attorney to set up the face-to-face so he could sign. I can empathize, though.

Also to add - grandparents didn't fight for their rights, they tried to get him custody of her by paying for all his legal fees because he lived with the grandparents, therefore my daughter would end up living with the grandparents and the grandmother would essentially be raising her . Despite the bio-father not wanting to be around, or the fact he couldn't be, I tried to let her have a relationship with her grandparents until I found out she was being sexually abused by the paternal grandfather while in their care (police and CPS were involved) and since then she has not had contact with any of them. Paternal grandmother and biological father still have contact and LIVE with the paternal grandfather, so there's no way in hell they have any grounds for visits. I have no idea if any of this will even be brought up in court as a means to have an open and shut case, and was perplexed why my lawyer chose to go with financial abandonment instead.

Okay -- so, at this point, this is an ADOPTION case, not a custody/child support case. So, while you could bring up the events that took place while she was in dads care, I don't think it would be relevant to TPR. Honestly, you will want to minimize the amount you share about any visits or support. Don't bring it up AT ALL unless asked, pointedly. Remember, this is an ABANDONMENT case that will lead to adoption. Don't muddy it with issues related to custody/visitation.Now, when will the abuse/neglect come into play? When/if they decline to terminate and he goes BACK to court to enforce visitation. At that point, you want to make sure you have EVERY. SINGLE. SCRAP. of paper related to allegations. At this point, you've filed based on abandonment. My guess is that this will be treated like any other termination that is handled -- have you ever read the back of the classifieds that has the Legal Notices? It's called "publication". They do that when they can't locate a biological father (he can't be served) so that they can say they made EVERY attempt to get the father to participate in the case. I would imagine that, at this point, they've done that with the first Service they did (Process Servers are REQUIRED to have documentation of the service) and my guess is that based on that Service, rights will be terminated if he doesn't show up.If he DOES show up, even after not responding to the Service, the Judge *could* continue the case so that the father can retain an attorney and the case can move forward. You've filed for a Termination based on Financial Abandonment to be followed up by an adoption by another parent. That is a legitimate case and you will get your day in court, period. He's not going to just show up to court and throw a wrench in all of it -- but he could stick some playing cards in the spokes and make it more annoying. Just because he contests, doesn't mean you won't win. You don't get to retain your parental rights 'just cuz'. He's going to have to show a pattern of accountability and an ability to parent. He is also going to have to pay for an attorney to represent him. He can't just walk in the courtroom with is chest puffed out and demand to keep his rights. The court doesn't work like that. When it comes to kids, they absolutely consider the interest of the child. Which reminds me, how old is she?

It says : Title of Document/Pleading to be Attached to Process: Original Petition for Adoption and Termination of a Step ChildORIGINAL PETITION FORTERMINATION AND ADOPTION OF STEPCHILD1. Discovery Level - Discovery in this case is intended to be conducted under level 2 of rule190 of the Texas Rules of Civil Procedure.2. Objection to Assignment of Case to Associate Judge - Petitioners object to theassignment of this matter to an associate judge for a trial on the merits or presiding at a jury trial.3. Parties - This suit is brought by STEPHANIE and XXXXXXX, Petitioners, who are a married couple. Petitioner STEPHANIE is the mother of the child the subjectof this suit. The last three numbers of STEPHANIE's driver's licensenumber are XXX. The last three numbers of STEPHANIE's SocialSecurity number are XXX. Petitioner XXXXXXX is the stepfather of the child the subject of thissuit.The last three numbers of XXXXXX’s driver's license number areXXX. The last three numbers of XXXXXX's Social Security number are XXX.4. Jurisdiction - This Court has acquired and retains continuing, exclusive jurisdiction ofthis suit and of the child the subject of this suit as a result of prior proceedings. Information required by section 152.209 of the Texas Family Code will be filed.5. Interstate Placement Information - A verified allegation or statement complying withsection 162.002 of the Texas Family Code will be filed.6. Child - The following child is the subject of this suit:Name: XXXXXXXXXXXSex: FemaleBirth date: -----------7. Person Entitled to Citation - The presumed father of the child the subject of this suit isAHOLE.Respondent should be served with citation at xxxx County JailXXXXXXX, Texas , or at any other place he may be found. Citation is requested with the filingof this Original Petition.There are no court-ordered conservatorships, court-ordered guardianships, or other court orderedrelationships affecting the child the subject of this suit.8. Property - No property of consequence is owned or possessed by the child the subject ofthis suit.9. Termination Sought - Termination of the parent-child relationship between AHOLE and the child the subject of this suit is in the best interest of the child, and suchtermination is requested.As grounds for termination, Petitioners allege that before this case is heard this parentwill have an executed an unrevoked or irrevocable affidavit of relinquishment of parentalrights as provided for by chapter 161 of the Texas Family Code; orb. in the event Respondent will not sign an affidavit, then based upon the fact thatRespondent failed to support the child in accordance with his ability during aperiod of one year ending within six months of the date of the filing of thispetition.10. Waiver Requested - Petitioners request the Court to find that the interests of the childthe subject of this suit will be represented adequately by Petitioners, whose interests are not inconflict with the child's interests.11. Adoption Sought - It is in the best interest of the child the subject of this suit to beadopted by XXXXXXX, and adoption of the child is sought.12. Residence with Petitioners - The child the subject of this suit will have lived in the homeof Petitioners for at least six months when this case is heard.13. Consent - The written consent of the managing conservator is not required, because themanaging conservator is one of the Petitioners14. Child's Name - Petitioners request that the name of the child, XXXXXXX, be changed to XXXXXXX15. Social Studies - Petitioners request the Court to order the preparation of the pre-adoptiveand post-placement social studies required by the Texas Family Code. Petitioners further requestthat a copy of the social study be made available to Petitioners before a final order is entered.16. Medical History Report - Petitioners request the Court to waive medical history ofAHOLE and AHOLE’S ancestors.17. Sealing of Records - Petitioners request the Court to order the sealing of the file and theminutes of the Court.18. Prayer - Petitioners pray that citation and notice issue as required by law.Petitioners pray that the Court enter its order in accordance with the allegations of thispetition.Petitioners pray for general relief

That's basically what he was served with, and was told he had by June 12th to respond with the courts.

Here, take a look at this:Keep in mind, just like divorce (termination of a relationship) a Termination of Parental Rights can only take place for certain reasons, outlined at that link above. Showing a trend of lack of support is very easy for the Attorney to do, if he hasn't been paying. The other reasons are harder to prove. Physical Abandonment is hard to prove -- how do you prove someone is absent? Your word? What about his word? See what I mean? Work smarter, not harder. He sounds like a Narcissist, so your Attorney is probably right about terminating via Financial Abandonment. He knew he wasn't going to get what he wanted by approaching the matter head on and asking him nicely. He knew, in the end, he'd end up going this way anyway, because bio dad is a narcissist and would never agree to such a request. If you know your going end up here anyway, why bother spending the additional money, charging you for fees/services that won't work, when he can just go directly there and save you a couple of hundred bucks.

I should probably add that I am NOT an attorney -- I don't even play one on TV. I've just been around Adoption all of my life, literally. So, please take my advice as Non-Professional Personal Experience, having been around the block a dozen times.

Will be 12 on November 15th.You're right. Financial abandonment is easiest to prove. I just feel that addiction (arrest records of it) for the past 11 years, failed attempts at rehabilitation, and whatnot would also be extra grounds. I just don't even know if they automatically pull up those types of records before court. I know my lawyer knows what he's doing, he's considered one of the "super lawyers" of Texas, but the less complicated it is the better.

I honestly don't think you have anything to worry about. Like I said, unless he can come up with some valid reason why he was unable to respond, then the judge will likely say that he's been Serviced and didn't respond and terminate his rights. Most judges DO NOT consider jail/prison a valid reason for not responding. They have pens, papers and phones there which allow for inmates to communicate with the outside world. They can, for example, hire an attorney to represent their interest. He'd probably have to show up for court with documents showing he was in Coma and was physically unable to reply to the service. Relax. Either way, it'll happen. If you have grounds, you have nothing to worry about. It may not be as fast as you want it to be, but it will get done. I read above where you said your child is almost 12. Will she be 12 before court? If so, she'll be asked what she thinks, most likely. Calm down, have a little Pinot and hang in there -- the whole process is hurry up and wait. You sound like me, you want more control over a process you have almost zero control over.

He was released shortly after he was served so he has had months to respond and hire a lawyer, and instead ended up in jail AGAIN. I am just honestly so interested in the process and how it works, I've googled step parent adoptions countless times and have read everything on this website, lol! The only thing that has bugged me so far is waiting for the social study to be filed, it's been over a month since we got the results back and the caseworker was supposed to fill out the report on labor day weekend and turn it in, but still hasn't. Hopefully, he will do it soon, and then the lawyer says we will file everything all at once with the court and get a court date. YAY! Thank you for all your advice, much appreciated. I mainly started this thread just to document the process for others.

More than welcome!Is your study being done by CPS? We had to have a homestudy, too. Dumbest thing I've ever heard of. He was already living with me, calling my husband dad for YEARS -- so sure, lets have a homestudy done to see if our home is good enough for him to have a different last name! LOLI had to have a private homestudy (in Arizona, but the adoption was free, so eh) and I made sure the worker knew, I paid that $1200 and I needed things done timely. In my case, I was the customer. If CPS is doing yours, they probably don't care what you say, they'll keep shuffling through the pile. Adoption is fascinating -- for sure!

No, he's a retired social worker (26 years working for CPS) who does it on the side I believe. He's actually a school teacher during the year, so I understand he's busy. Lawyer was the one who recommended him because of his cost - it was only $300, he came in asked us questions like names, SSNs, how many bedrooms we have, how long we've lived here, what do we do for fun, asked my daughter if she wanted it to happen. Took all of 20 minutes of him filling out paperwork- didn't even look around - just glanced around at the downstairs which is a very open space, and then left. I mean our house is 3400 SQFT which he asked about and was SPOTLESS when he came, so I don't think he was trying to investigate our living conditions. or questioned them. It was honestly the easiest part of everything.