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I recently found out that my younger sibling (adopted with me) found one of our bio parents. My sibling was able to get a lot of information and pictures of when we were both babies. The bio parent gave me and my sibling up for adoption out of being a teen parent. The bio parent says they never forgot me and my sibling and still remembers when we were born. My sibling has freely given up info on their life but left me contacting our bio parent along with info, up to me.
I am naturally not impulsive when it comes to new things. I like to take time and observe, mull over the situation(s) and then make a decision. My bio parent has said "all the right things" (i.e. never forgot us, happy to hear we turned out so well, my sibling making contact seemed surreal, no pressure to stay in contact, etc.)
I've harbored negative feelings for my bio parent all these years due to having the memory of spending the last day with them and not being told it was our last day. As an adult with children of my own, I think "How could I say a final goodbye to my children?" and there really isn't an easy answer. But having the memories of my bio parent, even though I understood my bio parent couldn't care of me and sibling, affected me for a long time--feelings of not being wanted, when in any kind of relationship (friendship or couple), I used to ask myself "When will the day come when I am no longer wanted or needed?"
I pretty much don't know how to feel and can't decide if I want to reach out to my bio parent. There are so many questions....I am trying to weigh the pros and cons and I am honestly having trouble coming up with any of the 2. Will I regret not reaching out? Will it cause issues later on down the road because I reached out? What kind of impact could reaching out to my bio parent cause? Positive? Negative?
Currently, it's like I am numb to the situation. I am thankful that I was adopted by parents who gave me and my sibling a nice, normal life. I just have too many mixed emotions about the situation and I am not sure how to proceed. I know there are others out there who are really, really hoping to find their bio parent(s) and I have the opportunity but I don't even know the best, smart move to make.
Any words of advice would be most welcome! Thank you!
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