8 year old help!!

The Primal Wound ... you have to read it. At least read some articles by the author on her website. Um, the boy had both parents die. First figuratively to drugs. Then literally. He never had the parent he deserved nor does he have any dream that it could ever come true. Expect him to vary between these two extremes for a LONG time. He is hurting worse than I ever want to experience. I think you owe it to him to say "I understand why you are angry and afraid." His feelings and reactions are normal. The behaviors may be unacceptable but they are NORMAL. Also, I am not sure if counseling is optional. You have a preteen with major psychological wounds. And justified anger. If that is not dealt with rapidly, you will soon have a TEENAGE boy with massive heartbreak, anger issues, and no coping skills. Go as a family to learn coping skills. If he refuses to speak, ask questions about how to best handle grief, especially ambiguous grief, and anger (I'm sure we could all use refreshers on these topics and if the child is at least in the room while that is being discussed that's more than nothing). I am a 30-year-old college educated woman whose entire work career has been with special needs and kids. I've been exposed to so much "therapy" but I wouldn't have a clue how to deal with my own emotions if I were in that chid's shoes.The girl may have some of the same issues but she may internalize. My sister is the externalizing "bad kid". She got help before I did because I tried to be perfect and then cracked in my twenties.