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Hello -- just some background. Born in 1955, mother was raped, adopted at birth. Sought and found birthmother when I was 38. We had a good friendship for 4 years and she passed. After she passed, my half sister and remainder of maternal family cut off all contact from me and firmly requested I not contact them again. Some years later, my husband gifted me Ancestry.DNA. I was able to locate all of my paternal family. Found out biological father passed away, but I have a cousin, nephew and brother (half). I only wanted to meet them, so I can say to myself DONE -- now I have met my family, get on with my life. I did not want to hassle them or judge them for what my bio father did to my bio mom. I wanted to know my heritage and to actually see in flesh and blood the rest of my biological family. However, no one wanted contact. this was 2 years ago. NOW, they have officially told me that they don't want contact and no communication. In addition, they say they don't believe that their family member would ever rape anyone and that my mother was a liar and so am I. they want proof. I don't have any. Both people are dead. My birth mother did not report the rape -- so does that mean it didnt happen. If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it , did it really fall? That kind of thing. Its gotten ugly and I want to put it behind me. Yet, its another rejection --- but not the first time.
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I know this may sound strange, but thank you so much for the post. I'm kind of in the same boat as you. My biological father is also my uncle. as my mother had been sexually abused by him from the time she was a small child. Without going into details, I was able to find her, and after a couple of excited emails back and forth, I haven't heard from her again. The same is true for my half sister/niece. She was so excited to hear from me, at least until she found out about how I came to be.it's radio silence now. I'm not going to lie and say it doesn't hurt. It does. Especially when she told me she'd been looking for me for many years and loved me so much. I'm feeling really confused. I'm really afraid that one of these days, I'll get a message from one of my biological father's adult kids asking me why I show up as either their mother of sister ( the DNA is wonky since my bio parents shared so much) . How the frig do I explain that to them? How will I tell them their father is a pedophile? What if he abused them? What if he abused other children? What if he had been abused himself? For what it's worth, you're not alone. There are many of us out there who understand what you are going through. I view the anger and rejection of being borne out of pain and sadness. Otherwise, it's just too sad to bear. If you need to talk(write) about this more, I'd be happy to read and reply.
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