I am in need of advice

Wow, I am really sorry for the situation that you are in! It does sound like you have a right to be scared. I don't know what to do about telling the birth parents that you wish to keep contact through the agency other than to tell them it is just the best for you right now. As long as you speak from the heart in the letters, I would not worry about your daughter reading copies later. I would think once you explain why you felt this way, she will understand that you were looking out for her safety. It is so hard to be in that situation I know. We've had no contact with our daughter's BDad except through her BMom. It is so hard because we hear only terrible things. This makes us feel bad and not want to judge another person on events that we have not personally experience. Yet at the same time, we don't want to take a chance if these things are true. I think that is a major quandry for all adoptive parents. How to keep your child safe, while not hurting anyone's feelings or mistreating anyone. I wish you the best of luck. Moonchild Mom