Family History School Projects

I always recommend that parents discuss with teachers at the beginning of the year the curriculum so that the parent can alert the teacher to what may be uncomfortable for an adopted child and to arrange accomodations and a more sensitive approach to the topic. So, if there is a unit on genetics, doing an eye-color chart of parents and grand-parents is not helpful...the teacher can think of another way to do this...using pets, plants or another vehicle. There are many family history methods to use for adopted children. Roots and branches is one. The child is the tree trunk and the adopted family are the branches and the bio family the roots. The fact that not much is known about parts of the family can apply equally to adopted, foster, and birth children. Another approach is the family orchard...trees are relatives and bio family. One can also use concentric circles with the child in the center and each circle divided up...bio and adopted parents in the first circle, grand parents in the second ring, etc. Regards

i realize you have had this post up awhile but i found it interesting, i was adopted child and i am now 31, very postive experience, loving and supportive family...and i can remember having such assignments making family trees etc.....and i always did one w/ my adopted family, they are my only family and i think it is perfectly ok!!! of course it does sometimes pose questions for children when they are asked to do this, and my parents have been open about the fact that my sister and i are adopted as long as i can remember, i dont remember not knowing i was adopted and that really helped me adjust better i think

Dear melicious1971: Thank you for your reply. Please feel free to reply to ANY post on the forums no matter what the original date of the post. That is great that you did your family history project using your relatives brought to you through adoption. I am glad to hear that it posed no real problem for you. Thank you also, melicious1971, for letting us know that it helped you to have always known that you were adopted and that you think always knowing has helped you to adjust. Thank you for letting us know that you have had a very positive experience through your adoption and have a loving and supportive family. I hope you received an "A" on your project those many years ago. ~ smile! Warm regards,

What if the adopted children have birth siblings in other adopteive placements or older siblings with no families? My kids found family trees difficult because although they are part of our family, they have other family also. I hate these projects and for kids in foster care, expecially ones who just got there, this assignment is horrible. In my experience, talking to the teachers ahead of time has not been helpful. The educational benefit of these types of assignments is minimal compared to the heartache it drags up.

Sometimes I think people make too big of a deal about this. I was adopted by my step-above father. He was daddy and his family is my family. I feel no different about his side of the family than my bmom. I always used them in my family tree. He is 6'6 and I am 5 foot even so we do like different. Foster children I can see the problem and I agree the educational benefit is limited if anything. Some aparents freak out about the smallest things. If they are ours then there ours. I am cheap just like my dad. We are saving up for an international adoption. My husband got the most expensive fast food meal and up sized it. I was a little upset and my mom said you are just like your dad. I am a lot like my dad because he is my dad. I am sure I will catch some crap because this is a little less than PC. I am sure my daughter will be a lot like me. I also think that when he/she gets up in front of the class he/she will be not so different. I feel bad with the kids who's parents get remarried and remarried. I remember one classmate from my high school french class that had a dad who got divorced and remarried 4 times and had 4 half brothers from different woman. The mom got remarried and had a baby. Then there were all the step children. It took for ever and he had to do it in French. Mine was short and sweet and people were shocked that my parents had been married 11 years and together 14. No one even asked why I was 15 but they had been married only 11 years. I look forward to teaching Reagan about her strong Polish history even if she is from Taiwan. She will learn both.

Our family is a blend of approximately six others. We fondly refer to our "family tree" as the "family bush," especially since there are so many people involved. I agree that talking to the teacher at the onset of the school year is crucial. It helps alleviate potentially uncomfortable subjects later. In my son's class, 1/4 of the class is adopted and 1/3 have adopted siblings. last year in lieu of the traditional family tree, the kids picked a country participating in the winter Olympics and researched several topics - climate, economic base, topography, traditions, etc. I think the kids found it way more interesting than the over-done family tree project. Personally, I think the tree is best left to the family's own backyard!

"Some aparents freak out about the smallest things. If they are ours then there ours." I don't consider my children's birth family a small thing and though I am their mother and my family is theirs, so is their birth family so this is not a small thing to them. Also, the situation you described with the divorces, remarriages etc, what right does the school have to ask a child to publically share this information? What if they don't want to? There is very little educational value to this assignment.

The small thing is not the birth. Birth is a huge issue and so is adoption but I often worry about the children of aparents that just can't relax. It does not matter how hard you try to protect your children. Children will find something to tease about if it is their mission. I was a little upset because I posted on one of the other boards that when my cousin who watch a lot gets mad she holds her breath and trys to pull clothes off the hangers at target. Some told me she was having issues with adoption and that her mom need to stay at home. The kicker is she is a bchild. I did the same things. I am normal and my parents never went out of their way to make me feel like others or protect me. When I got upet my mom would say, "Life sucks". I would figure my own way to deal with people. I stood up for my self. The small things are some of the children holding their breath and saying it's because they are adopted. Sorry if you thought I was out of line. It's my first non PC post. I was not evening asking for advice about my 3 year old cousin. I was just talking about my day with her. I was asking what the other children liked to eat. She loves my pot roast and I thought that was odd. Maybe she will be a chef.

It's not a matter of the kids being teased. The issue is asking a child to define their family as it fits on the branches of a family tree and some kids are not ready to do that. Often they're told by the school to just use their adoptive family. What does this say to them about the rest of their family? My children were all adopted at an older age and we have discussed these issues as they have come up and the feelings this project conjures up takes away any value they could get from it. This is not just an adoptive issue. What about the kids whose parents are in the middle of divorces or were never married or worse, raped. There are too many unknown factors in the lives of the children these teachers assign these projects to and the educational value is not worth the trade off.

It is a dumb project and I agree with that. In my case we were in high school and my teacher was cool. She even told us it was not the 50's anymore. We did it as a french project and even had the pets on it. I still have the same cat that I did then. He was my son according to the project. Someone less had an old beat up car that he called his girl. It was funny. (the car not the baby) There was a senior who was married in the class and had a baby. We all knew she was married. It was no big deal. It was a funny project because we all had to speak solid french for 5 minutes for a C 10 minutes for a B. I got an A for speaking over 12 minutes and having gone out of my way with french humor. I even had my boyfriend on it that now I am married too. I called him my little cabbage head which is a term of love. I think with the right teacher it's fine and right age group. My teacher was sure to point out that all families are different. We had to speak in complete sentences so it was more than glue. She even did one. Which had all of her ex-husbands and one french boyfriend that she called her soul mate. She had no human children but had her dog and I think some other animal. They had french names. I do not think it was an invasion of my rights. The fact is that no matter what the school system is going to make someone upset about something sooner or later. Examples Sex Ed, DARE, lack of PE, too much home work. It was not that long ago that I was in school and those issues were there then and last I heard on the news it is being an issue. I still have my project some where. I would give anything to meet Ms. Eason again. My husband was in her class at a different time. I think she could die to hear we got married and made it work. That is the odd thing about teachers. I don't remember football games or who all my friends were but I remember all 3 years of her class. She even had a huge french dinner at her house. I ate three snails for extra credit.

You may find using a family Orchard most helpful as a means of including biologically related children/siblings in other families. The Orchard is the family and each tree represents another person; roots and branches can represent those related by birth and by adoption (the branches). Good discussion here. Regards

I just wandered onto this board for the first time today. Interesting topic - given that I will be meeting with my sons new 5th grade teachers in just a few days. At our meeting, I am planning to cover some of the generic topics that are challenging for children who are adopted, in foster care or non-traditional families. In my sons class over 6 % of the kids are adopted, above the national norm, so hopefully the teachers will be interested in my ideas. I will take with me some suggestions from this thread. My son has never seen his birthmother, since the day he was born - and yes she means a lot to him. I can be pretty sure he would want to include her in an assignment of this nature, but then hadn't thought about the need to present in front of the class. He is very private about his emotions regarding his birthmother. I'm not sure he is ready to handle openly discussing his adoption status with peers, and especially to field questions from peers. But unfortunatley, no matter how he chooses to complete this assignement - he was older when adopted and so his peers are well aware of his adopted status. I will likely have to prepare him on how to field questions he does not wish to answer. My thoughs are that if my son gets an assignment of this nature perhaps I will offer him the option of making 2 family trees - the one he feels in his heart, and the one he feels comfortable sharing in front of a class. That way he won't feel like he is slighting his birthmother who is very important to him, and still he can disclose only what he feels comfortable with, in front of his class. Just this week, he picked out a neat box at the Hallmark store. He plans to put special things for Svetlana in the box. My suggestion was that anytime he wanted to write to her, he could and put it in the box. Anytime he wanted to honor her with a card - he could and put it in the box. He could put school work - such as the family tree and art work in the box should he choose. His idea is that someday he will give this box to Svetlana. DimasMom

I came across an explanation for adoption that I thought was very appropriate.. Likening the adoption to a tree-graft. A piece is taken/cut from one tree and implanted/attached to a second one. As a result of the graft the second tree is improved and the grafted piece is a part of it. Like the tree having received the graft, the adoptive family is improved and strenghtened by the new addition, the new child. However, there is pain involved and a healing/bonding process (the cut from the original tree and the attachement to the new tree) So in my mind... this example can be used to in many scenarios If the child wishes to include his birth-family maybe he could make two trees close together, drawing a link between them, showing they are separate, yet together. If nothing is known about the birth-family, it's perfectly legitimate for the child to consider himself part of his adoptive family (and family tree). He belongs.

Better to have one family tree so that child is not made to feel split. Doing a family three with roots (bio parents) and limbs (adoptive familY) with the trunk as the child allows the child to be whole and accept both as part of his history. The family orchard with trees for people accomplishes the same, but is more complex to do. regards,