What Open Adoption Books Do You Suggest?

Of course I am biased. I like the pocket guide I wrote as a good introduction. Second I would read Joyce Pavao's book. It is a good introduction to adoption period. Then The Open Adoption Experience, Jim Gritter's The Spirt of Open Adoption and The Children of Open Adoption (although that one needs desparately to be updated) Here are some of them from my reccommended reading list. (Not all directly adoption related but very useful in open adoptions.) Difficult Conversations: How to discuss what matters most. by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen of the Harvard Negotiation Project (Viking, 1999) - While this book is not specific to adoption, it is one of the best books on communication I have ever read. This book will change the way you talk and, most importantly, listen to each other. Getting Together: Building relationships as we negotiate. by Roger Fisher and Scott Brown of the Harvard Negotiation Project (Penguin, 1988) - This book seems like it was tailor made for open adoptions. Gives those in open adoptions a framework for establishing complicated relationships. Openness in Adoption: Exploring Family Connections by Harold D. Grotevant and Ruth G. McRoy (Sage Publishing, 1998) Based on an on-going longitudinal study on openness in adoption. Painful Lessons, Loving Bonds: The Heart of Open Adoption by Marcy Wineman Axness Topics include: The "secret ingredient" for healthy intimacy between parents and child. The dangers of the wrong kind of open adoption. How we should respond when birth parents "reclaim" children. What adoptive parents must do for themselves, for the sake of their children. How every adoption can be open, in the most loving way. Put your Heart on Paper: Staying connected in a loose-ends world. by Henriette Anne Klauser (Bantam, 1995) The best book I have ever seen for creative communication and written traditions. This is another book that will touch all areas of your life. Sacred Connections by Mary Ann Koenig with photographs by Nikki Berg (Running Press, 2001) Beautifully presented and thoughtfully written, this book explores the many different connections that exist in adoption in the stories of the people who have lived them. Ethics in American Adoption by L. Anne Babb (Bergin and Garvey) This book is a must read for anyone involved in adoption. This is a book that asks hard questions, and gives good answers. It is also filled with useful facts and research. The Family of Adoption by Dr. Joyce Maguire Pavao (Beacon Press) Pioneering family and adoption therapist Dr. Joyce Maguire Pavao is the first to demonstrate that there are predictable and understandable developmental stages and challenges for adopted people. Through stories of work with children and families, she shows us that adoptive parents, as well as teachers, therapists, and all who work with children must come to understand these developmental stages as normal?challenging, but normal. The Family of Adoption is a timely and powerful argument for the right kind of "openness" within adoptive families. The Open Adoption Experience by Lois Melina and Sharon Kaplan-Roszia. (HarperPerennial, 1993) A complete guide for both birthfamilies and adoptive families. Covers topics from "readiness for open adoption" to growing up in an open adoption. Co-written by two leaders in the field of adoption, this book is not only must reading for those considering open adoption, but also a handy reference book as the child grows. The Spirit of Open Adoption by Jim Gritter (CWLA, 1997) - An in depth look at open adoption. Jim Gritter encourages a value-based model, one that is child-centered. He also discusses rarely touched upon issues such as shame and fear. What is Open Adoption? By Brenda Romanchik (R-Squared Press, 1999) - This Pocket Guide defines the differences between openness in adoption and open adoption, as well as the benefits of open adoption and how to fully embrace the relationships open adoption creates. As an added bonus, Jim Gritter, the author of The Spirit of Open Adoption, has added two remarkable written pieces. This book is perfect for understanding and explaining the richness of the open adoption experience. Especially good for giving to family members and friends. I don't recommend An Open Adoption by Lincoln Kaplin(not representitive) nor do I recommend The Open Adoption Book by Bruce Rappaport (way too rose colored) I only recommend with disclaimers The Third Choice. (One, I hate the title, I also think two of it's sections are way off base in a really dangerous way. The Change of Heart section and the chapter on grief. Don't get me started on their Recovery Timeline for the First Year!!!!!)

Thanks Brenda! And I agree - the book The Children of Open Adoption needs to be updated! I'd love to read an updated version of the book. (hint, hint) If the authors are browsing the forums. :) So, how about lending your good friend Skye one of those books, lol! Many of those books look very interesting. Thanks again for your recommendations!

Let me know. You can e-mail me privately.