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This is very difficult for me but I do need some help.
My son is 18 and he got a girl pregnant that was only fourteen. I don't like this and he was wrong I will not even try to justify his actions but the girl wishes for me and my fiance to adopt the baby and we would really like to do this but the girls father is not aggreeing to this. He wants to adopt the baby out to strangers. I can understand his hostility towards my son as I have been on an emotional roller coaster since I found out. My and the birth mother both want me to take the child when it is born and raise her. Her father says that once the child is born then his daughter has no rights and that the adoption is his decision. Is this true? Does my son have any parental rights with the situation being what it is? Do I have any rights being the grandparent? Please help me if you can. I need some guidance.
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The decision on what to do about the baby belongs to the girl and your son--they have equal legal rights in this decision, and nobody else has any legal rights. Yes, even though the girl is a minor her parents have no legal say in it.
(However, I would expect her father to put a great deal of *emotional* pressure on her, so don't be surprised at that.)
You need to contact an adoption attorney or agency quickly, and have them let the girl and your son know what their rights and responsibilities are. (An agency or attorney can also be extremely useful in letting the girl's father know that he doesn't have any rights to make the decision, and helping him come to terms with this.)
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Diane, I think it is great that you want to step in and take responsibility for your son's actions. Hopefully you can get your son to persuade his girlfriend to allow you to take the baby. Are they still seeing each other? It would be ridiculous to have this child go to strangers when you are ready and willing to take him/her yourself.
Just an FYI - I heard on the radio yesterday about a boy who just turned 18 and was brought up on charges of statutory rape for messing around with his 16 year old girlfriend (of two years). He now has a permenant record as a child sexual offender/predator following him around for life. His picture appears whenever someone does a search for sex offenders in their neighborhood, and since no details are given, it could be assumed that he had been fooling around with kids instead of someone who was just 1 1/5 - 2 years younger than himself!
Make sure to tell your son not to antagonize his girlfriend's father to much!