contact issues

I feel for you from my heart. Although we're not yet at this point of "contracts"-we're going through the fost-adopt process. We have had visits set up and Mom doesn't show up. We're real sad for our "daughter" because it is so painful for her and she's only 3 (this month.) She really doesn't "know" her Mom...but, she will always be missing that connection. It will be a void that we will not be able to fill. I know that we're not just adopting a girl of three...but, we're adopting/adapting her entire family in a way to ours. She's very bright and has been in the "system" since 1 y.o. and prior to her entrance to the "system" they were homeless and Mom ended up in prison (not jail-prison...)for the last 6 months of their time together. We've had one visit and it was so beautiful to me...We have two biological children and I would "rate" their visit right up there with the birth of my children! It was so natural and instant-Mother to Child...I know that I'm Mommy when she's not there...I feed her, clothe her, snuggle her, aid her when she's ill, bandaide her when she's hurt, kiss her owie, read her stories, bring her to school, pick her up....explain the every-day to her...and that is something special for both of us...but, the reality is I'm not trying to take her Mom away from her...I'm just there for her because she needs me...But, there's going to come a time that I'm not what she's going to "need." She's going to have questions that I'm not going to be able to answer. Only her Mom will. But, what I will have instilled in her is the fact that I will be there when she "needs me." I'm not going away. Throught the tears, laughter, pain, struggle, heartbreaks, and smiles...I will be there. I think it's important to find it within your heart to do whatever is best for that moment. Tomorrow is never that far ahead. You'll make the best decesion for your child-you are the Mommy/Daddy now. Journal/Document....your feelings, what you see in your child....Don't doubt yourself. Trust your feelings...you're here doing this for a reason-You wanted to fill a void...and some day we all hope for our children from the deepest of deepest feelings that their Mom or Dad will be there for them to answer all of those questions that are their rights...We want the best for our kids...we don't want to deny them of that ever! So, after I've been so mushy and gooshey about it all...the bottom line is-do what you feel. You're on the right track so far! Best Wishes!