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...and I can't imagine them not being together. They have a very strong bond and a connection to one another that I will probably never completely understand. When I asked the pediatrician at their 18-month check-up if I should be concerned that they weren't talking much, she said "no way...they're talking to each other all the time." And it's true...I watch them interact every day and see their communication. Also, they care for and protect each other. It's really very sweet to watch. When Hartley was sick a few weeks ago and sitting on my lap feeling punky, Sarah kept bringing her toys and blankies and bottles...and patting her back and giving her kisses and hugs.
In my personal opinion, I don't think a reputable adoption agency would even consider separating twins. Ours didn't, and neither did their birthmom.
My aparents already had a 6 year old, a 3 year old, and were ready to adopt their third child when the agency called my mom and asked if she would consider adopting twins. She said, "Well if I were having a biological child, and it turned out to be twins, then I couldn't very well send one back!" So my parents adopted my twin sister and me, and my mom was thrilled to have two tiny baby girls. If the adoptive couple feels like twins would be too much of a burden (as the mother of a singleton toddler, I wouldn't blame them!), then they simply aren't the right couple for this adoption opportunity. They should wait for a singleton.
Also, I have always considered being kept with my twin to be one of the luckiest event of my life.. We easily could have been split, and that thought sends chills of horror through me.
OK, maybe I'm being a drama queen, but that's my take on it.
LC
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If it is your choice to place them with an Adoptive couple. PLEASE don't seperate them.
There are twins in our family also. Even though they still argue like most siblings do.
They miss each other immensly when the other twin is not around.
If we were offered to Adopt a baby that is a twin, We would have to pass on the opportunity.
I feel there is way to much of a bond that twins share and may effect their emotions growing up.
Knowing something is missing and can't figure out what.
I so agree with the vast majority of the replies..... keep those babies together!! I know several bmoms who placed twins and they were placed together. As a bmom, I can not imagine dealing with 2 sets of rules, updates, pics, etc.... I think it would be easier to deal with just one family. And having heard adult twins talk, there is always some connection there between them. So, I think they should stay together!!!
Best of luck to ya sweetie!!
Coley
Never separate twins! Ever since I found out that my grandmother had a twin brother, I always wanted to have twins! People have always told me I'm crazy to want that! I've just always been fasinated with twins! Anytime a talk show would be about twins, I'd have to watch it! They are incredible blessings!
I have 2 bio children, 19 year old son and 16 year old daughter, and unable to have any more. We have just recently gotten our license to do foster care. My hope and prayer would be to foster to adopt. Wouldn't it be WILD if twins were placed with us?! If it happens, I'd know that my grandma up in heaven would have had something to do with it! She knew I wanted to have twins!
Take care & God bless
DeAnn
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I know that adoptive parents can specify if they are willing to adopt twins or not. Through the adoption agency that my husband and I are going through while trying to adopt, we checked off that we would be willing to adopt twins. I think it's probably not uncommon.
Since I'm sure that there are a lot of adoptive families that would be very happy to take twins, separating them would probably not be necessary.
I have, however, not heard any specific stories of twins being adopted.
I suspect that this used to be much more of an issue back when the supply/demand for adoptable babies was skewed in the opposite direction from where it's at now. Keeping that in mind, I think it's currently more of an issue for older adoptable children and adoptable children with special needs.
LC
I am the birth mother of twin girls, born in November 2001. I would recommend that you ALWAYS place twins together!! You will have no problem finding adoptive parents that would be thrilled to take both babies---imagine hoping and praying for a baby, and then getting TWO out of the deal. Also, research shows that twin infants do much better when each other's presence (esp. if they sleep together). And I cannot imagine the psychological damage done when twins learn later that they are a twinless twin.
If you would like to discuss this with me, since I've been through placing twins, you may e-mail at me at hippiechick1976@hotmail.com. I'd be glad to "chat."
As a potential, pregnant bmom, the ball is in your court. But after the adoption, the ball is in the adoptive parent's court. So be as choosy as you want to when selecting parents for your babies. Don't settle for less.
I'd recommend placing twins in a two-parent family, as twins are much more work than "just" one baby.
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TOGETHER!
I'm not usually into shouting on message boards, but this is a subject close to my heart. My twin and I are adopted to separate families. I would never wish that on anyone else. I strongly beleive as others have said, that twins are meant to be together.
My twin and I have a relationship now, but still miss the many years we could have been together, and weren't.
HI, I think it is best to keep them together, twins have a speical bond. I have two sets of cousins who are twins, 2 years olds adn 16 year olds. They love one another so much. WE are hoping to adopt and would love twins, i read the post that if they were biological you would not say, that they were to much to handle, i agree. Twins share things differently, they are very close. e-mail me if you want to chat. lilnico31@yahoo.com
twins also keep each other company, that is what my aunts say...:) :)
lilnico