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Colorado House Bill 1286-- the voluntary expedited relinquishment bill is up for debate in the Senate on Monday. Your phone calls, faxes and emails are needed to help DEFEAT this bill.
If passed it will encourage agencies to bully birthmothers into rapid abandonment and speed up the relinquishment process while also bypassing court checks and balances.
While all interested parties are encouraged to contact these statesmen. It's important to hear from BIOLOGICAL MOTHERS that this bill is not fair to birth mothers and why you think so.
EMAILS are great, but PHONE CALLS and FAXES are BETTER!
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The bill will be heard by the Senate Judiciary on Monday, March 10 -- CALL or FAX NOW!!
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A most significant point is that this bill was written by six Colorado adoption agencies whose paid lobbyist is pushing it hard. Also the Lt Governor said adoption would be a priority this year in Colorado. As often happens when politicians set a priority on doing "something" about adoption, that "something" tends to be ill-advised. No experts are consulted excepting those whose expertise is compromised by the fact that they have a financial interest in the passage of the bill. This bill is about expediting adoptions for prospective parents who can pay agency fees, not about what is in the best interests of the child or what is fair to biological parents.
Colleagues in Colorado who attended the House hearing on the bill were told that the purpose of the bill was to "help birth mothers relinquish quickly so they could get on with their lives." We know that relinquishment is something that must not be done in haste but with careful consideration and an absence of pressure to "sign the papers."
Sponsors also explained that the bill would also help "expedite adoptions for adoptive parents." The bill allows a birth parent to sign relinquishment papers before a child is even born and then the agency would have the relinquishment papers in their possession. The papers could then be filed with the court 72 hours after the birth. Sponsor Rep. Lynn Hefley opined that the relinquishment would then be final for the birth mother. She said the seven to ten day period following the filing is only for the court to review the papers. The birth mother would no longer be involved at that point. We believe that if the birth mom signed the papers 72 hours after the birth of her child that the agency could file the papers that same day and the relinquishment would then be final, for the birthmother. All this seems like a great deal of undue haste.
The bill is designed to remove the court hearing from the process of relinquishment. Our colleagues in Colorado tell us the system there does discourage at least some agencies from being as unethical as they might possibly be but, at least some of the agencies are afraid of the judicial review process and want this bill passed to remove that review.
As long as birth mothers go to court for a relinquishment hearing there is a check and balance system operating that will help to control at least some corruption. The judges are required by the state to question the counseling the birthmothers have received at the agency. Court proceedings require the birth mother to re-think her decision again in another environment (some judges expel the agency people from the court room or chamber while the birth mom is there to make sure she is not being manipulated by the agency worker through eye contact, or other coaching). The agencies want to remove the court hearing to give them total control over the relinquishments. Result: more babies for the agencies.
A part of the bill appears to allow the birth father to terminate the birth mother's rights without her consent and that seems it would be unconstitutional. This question was brought up in House committee (HEWI) and the apparent conflict of rights may be why it is now assigned to the Senate Judiciary committee.
Rep. Fran Coleman, an adoptee, who voted against it told colleagues that she thought the legislators just didn't get to hear the opinions of birthmothers and other members of the triad since they don't have a paid lobbyist and the Agencies do.
Contact the senators on Senate Judiciary now.
Fax #s for ALL: 303-866-2012 and 303-866-4565
JIM DYER -- Senate sponsor of the bill
200 E. Coolfax
Denver, CO 80203
Phone: 303-866-4866
Fax: 303-866-2012
Email: jim.dyer.senate@state.co.us
JOHN EVANS
Assistant Majority Leader of the Senate
Phone: 303-866-4881
E-Mail: john.evans.senate@state.co.us
KEN GORDON
Assistant Minority Leader of the Senate
Phone: 303-866-4875
E-Mail: ken.gordon.senate@state.co.us
DAN GROSSMAN
Capitol Phone: 303-866-4852
E-Mail: dan.grossman.senate@state.co.us
PETER C. GROFF
Phone: 303-866-2909
Email: peter.groff.house@state.co.us
MARK HILLMAN
Co-Majority Leader of the Senate
Phone: 303-866-6360
Fax: 970-867-4640
E-mail: mark.hillman.senate@state.co.us
SUE WINDELS
Phone: 303-866-4840
E-Mail: sue.windels.senate@state.co.us
The above numbers are their Capital numbers which will allow you to leave a voice mail 24 hours a day. You can get additional numbers, FAXes and emails from the Colorado Home page: [url]http://www.state.co.us.[/url] You can also get updated information about the bill on that website or call the bill room (303-866-3055) to get information.
Here are other Senate contacts. If you live in Colorado and one of these senators represents your district, please contact them and ask them to vote "NO" on HB 1286.
NORMA V. ANDERSON
Co-Majority Leader of the Senate
Capitol Phone: 303-866-3341
E-mail: norma.anderson.senate@state.co.us
JOHN ANDREWS
President of the Senate
Phone: 303-866-3342
E-Mail: john.andrews.senate@state.co.us
KEN ARNOLD
Capitol Phone: 303-866-4876
Home Phone: 303-466-2666
Fax Number: 303-439-7987
E-Mail: ken.arnold.senate@state.co.us
BRUCE CAIRNS
Capitol Phone: 303-866-3432
E-Mail: bruce.cairns.senate@state.co.us
KEN CHLOUBER
President Pro Tem
Capitol Phone: 303-866-4869
E-mail: ken.chlouber.senate@state.co.us
LEWIS ENTZ
Capitol Phone: 303-866-4871
E-mail: lewis.entz.senate@state.co.us
JOAN FITZ-GERALD
Minority Leader of the Senate
Phone: 303-866-2318
Fax: 303-866-4543
E-Mail: joan.fitzgerald.senate@state.co.us
BOB HAGEDORN
Phone: 303-866-4879
E-Mail: senbob@msn.com
DEANNA HANNA
Phone: 303-866-4857
E-mail: deanna.hanna.senate@state.co.us
JIM ISGAR
Phone: 303-866-4884
E-mail: isgarsenate@frontier.net
STEVE JOHNSON
Capitol Phone: 303-866-4853
E-Mail: steve.johnson.senate@state.co.us
ED JONES
Phone: 303-866-6364
E-mail: ed.jones.senate@state.co.us
MARYANNE "MO" KELLER
Capitol Phone: 303-866-4856
E-mail: moe.keller.senate@state.co.us
KEN KESTER
Phone: 303-866-4877
E-Mail: ken.kester.senate@state.co.us
DOUG LAMBORN
Majority Caucus Chairman
Phone: 303-866-4835
E-mail: doug.lamborn.senate@state.co.us
DOUG LINKHART
Capitol Phone: 303-866-4861
Home Phone: 303-733-3569
E-mail: doug@douglinkhart.com
RON MAY
Phone: 303-866-4866
E-Mail: ron.may.senate@state.co.us
ANDY McELHANY
Phone: 303-866-4866
ALICE J. NICHOL
Phone: 303-866-4863
Fax: 303-287-7742
E-mail: alice.nichol.senate@state.co.us
DAVID T. "DAVE" OWEN
Phone: 303-866-2586
Fax: 970-330-9600
TERRY PHILLIPS
Capitol Phone: 303-866-5291
E-mail: terry.phillips.senate@state.co.us
PEGGY REEVES
Capitol Phone: 303-866-4841
Home Phone: 970-482-8952
Mailing Address: 1931 Sandalwood Lane, Fort Collins, CO 80526
Fax Number: 303-866-4543
E-Mail: peggy.reeves.senate@state.co.us
PAULA SANDOVAL
Capitol Phone: 303-866-4862
E-Mail: paula.sandoval.senate@state.co.us
STEPHANIE TAKIS
Phone: 303-866-4855
E-Mail: stephanie.takis.senate@state.co.us
ABEL TAPIA
Capitol Phone: 303-866-4878
E-mail: abel.tapia.senate@state.co.us
JACK TAYLOR
Phone: 303-866-4866
RONALD J. "RON" TECK
Phone: 303-866-3077
E-Mail: ron.teck.senate@state.co.us
RON TUPA
Minority Caucus Chairman
Phone: 303-866-4872
E-Mail: ron.tupa.senate@state.co.us
Thank you for your efforts! Let me know the results of your contacts.
Sincerely,
RAY BUFFER
[url]www.raybuffer.com[/url]
[url]www.adoptee.2ya.com[/url]
Director
Adoptees Caucus for Truth (ACT)
[url]http://act.vze.com[/url]
Board Member and Registry Owner
Florida Search Network
[url]www.floridasearchnetwork.web1000.com/[/url]
[url]www.reunion.vze.com[/url]
Moderator
Adoptee Activists
[url]www.activist.vze.com[/url]
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Latest status on HB 1286
from Karen Kottmeier
I received word late on Friday that the bill had been laid over until Monday. We can expect that it may be heard on the senate floor on Monday, possibly amended, and then voted upon. We, of course, would love to have it killed but I never really thought we had much of a chance for that.
A number of states have revised their statutes in recent years to place parents in these high pressure situations. I also think some of our lawmakers think that if we make adoption "easier" maybe we won't have so many "abandoned" babies in dumpsters. The problem with that kind of thinking is it is so hard to disprove.
I think this bill has been misinterpreted as both a prolife and a prochoice bill by lawmakers on both sides of those issues. But, if HB 1286 goes into effect, only the agencies will have the choices.
We still have the rest of the weekend to email senators, or FAX them or leave voice messages. I will be voice messaging them, myself, this weekend. Their voice mails at the capitol run 24 hours. They have home office numbers, too, which are also listed on the Colorado Home page at: [url]http://www.state.co.us.[/url]
When I send a voice message, I write out several little speeches, so I can hit several different issues. I leave my name, and where I live. I also leave my number if I would like a call back (sometimes they call back ). I read my speech and then I say thank you. Of course, I ask them to vote against the bill. Be sure to mention the number of the bill in your speech. It gets to be very easy to do this after awhile.
I have been doing this work for a long time and this bill really was no surprise. Of course anyone can write a bill and they don't have to share that knowledge with anyone else until they introduce it into the legislature. Until we had a chance to see what it looked like we couldn't react to it. Of course, since these agencies had already worked with Pat Taylor and me for many years on the Task Force and on the Access to Records bills, we were already known to them..
Adoption is really a family issue and needs to be viewed as such, in my opinion. Parents who go to an adoption agency are looking for help. They should not be viewed as suspect. Birth parents will always be connected to their children, even if they have to relinquish them for adoption. That connection should be viewed in a positive manner. Children cannot always live with all of their parents, but they will always be part of them. Our family system needs to be based on support, not competition and destruction.
Anyway, we are now a known group.
Take care,
Karen
==========================
Forwarded by Ray Buffer
[url]http://adoptee.2ya.com[/url]
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Hi my name is Dalia, I live in Canada and im still furious about how the sytem works. i like to hear everyones insight. it makes me feel better. I will explain alittle more about myself. i am a birthmom- adoptee. i am born in colombia, south america, and unfortunantly dont know anything about my identity. I was adopted at 20 months, and I was adopted by a jewish family, whom decends from poland, and the u.s. far from where I came from. they didnt make much effort to keep my identity, they changed my name completely, and I had to learn english and hebrew as my first language. I lost the ability to speak or understand spanish. They also wanted me to forget sarah and pretend she never happened, that I would be put to sleep, and never know her. I told them that if they dont want to support me, then stay out of it. and so they did. i am learning spanish now and trying to find myself, and learn a little bit of spanish culture, because it was a big part of me that was lost and never returned. i dont think its fair for sarah, or any other kids I have to not have an identity except there fathers. Sarahs name isnt originally hers, I gave her the name Dalia Ophira, after me, they changed it to Sarah Nicole Dalia.i dont even know family history, I just live day to day, not knowing what will be next. My mom wasnt married when she had me, but she was 42 and had alot of problems. I lived with her for a year and 3 months, and then went to an orphanage. i am 1 of 8 childrenso far that I know, according to documents, that I translated from spanish. Anyways, I myself have not had the greatest adoption, and I felt very strongly about keeping children all my life. I even wrote an essay a year and half earlier about how wrong it is to give up children. i was brainwashed to think otherwise. I was PROMISED an open adoption, that I would see sarah and we would know eachother. I refuse to have a closed or semi open adoption, it was either having a relationship with sarah or nothing. I mostly didnt change my mind after sarah was born because when I chose and interviewed the parents before birth they were telling me that they got a crib and gifts, and the baby room was ready. me having a heart and all couldnt say no to them after that. Presently I have a semi adoption Im getting letters and pictures every 6 months until sarah is 9. I have not seen sarah since she was one, i dont really know what she looks like. i send her gifts and letters, but thats not enough, i promised her in the hospital that we would be together, and i will always be there, and we will know eachother, and I apoligized over and over again to her that im doing this, i will make sure everything will be ok, this was talking to her through tears, she just looked up at me with curious eyes, and started crying. I slept with her in my hospital bed the last night I saw her, I insisted on being with her in the hospital for at least three days, I needed to bond, she is the only blood I have, i need to feel the pain otherwise I have nothing to tell her. I lost her on the 3rd day. Sarah was born in oct. 2000 she is now 2.5 years old. I miss her, and I think of her all the time, its not fair, I should have kept her, I cant take her back even if i wanted to, there has to be something really bad for me to fight for it. the sad thing is that she only lives around the corner from me, and the parents are making no effort for me to have contact, eventhough i requested it about a year ago. that is so disrespectful. I put my child into the trust of this family and society, and then I get what I never ever wanted for my child. to relive my life. in this day and age, most children sarahs age, who are adopted, will know there moms because, open adoption is becoming popular, that will hurt sarah if she doesnt have the oppurtunity to, that is why I signed the papers so it better happen. Im in the process of trying to take this to court, but im having trouble to find a lawyer who will help me. I was also denied by legal aid, im very upset so I have to appeal that to. I regret what I have done, and im suffering for it, I thought my life would get better, but its getting worse. I as a person is getting better, but sarah is bringing me down. you have to do what you have to do. this has been going on now for a month, im feeling very down, im glad I found this group. Now I am back to my old self and if I ever get into this situation again, I refuse to listen to society, I will be as strong as I was when I was 17 and still a virgin, and keep the child 100%. I cant feel bad for the adopted parents, because they dont feel bad for you. whos the one that carried the baby for 9 months, gave birth was in the hospital, mourned for a week or so straight, and still grieving. I have the birthstory, they dont have that to give to sarah. I feel that went through all that for nothing because I didnt get what I was promised. Its painful enough that I was adopted to have the unknown, but nothing except death compares to this pain, not even breakups or divorces. Motherly Bond is so deep, it is torcher when you lose a child, as much as you say everything will be ok, it will never be. I did the adoption process on my own, Im searching for my mother on my own, and im dealing with lawyers on my own. the adoption social worker who placed sarah for adoption is doing nothing for me, and neither is the lawyer that was involvec, its as if I dont exsist anymore to them. I will tell you more about that later. im on my own in everything, even the father isnt involved he doesnt know about sarah, hes a very obssesive guy, i was mother to him. I casually ask about him for sarahs sake but I refuse to speak to him, ill explain that later to. Anyhow I wrote way to much, sorry, but I needed to let it out. Keep replying. I THANK YOU ALL i think this a very important topic discuss and most of us go through having to make choices. I almost aborted because I was to much in shock-my parents choice. I was 27.5 weeks along when i found out, and realized there is an actual human being in my stomach kicking, i even had an ultrasound picture, which my mother took away immediatly she said: you wont be needing that anymore, and I really thought that would be the only picture I would see of my baby. My mom was there last minute at the birth but she left 10 min. after sarah was born and said to her: bye have a good life.- Screw her on anyother grandchildren I give her. then I didnt see my parents until I was out of the hospital, they didnt even pick me up. my dad was there for a bit of labour. all they said to me is on the phone: you know why were not here, because, this is not ours, and we dont want to support you on having a baby. I have not forgiven them since. even to this day if I talk about my problems with sarah on the phone I would become emotional, I need to speek out help others. anyhow ill talk more about this later, but please respond, thank you very much. Love Dals
While I think the legislation being presented is really rushed for birthmothers, I also think that some states waiting periods for finalizing adoptions is WAAAAAY too long. Like FL. Why should they get a YEAR to take the child back? My opinion is that a child should be placed temporarily in foster care or in a home of some kind for maybe 1 or 2 months, before being placed in a family. Then, the adoption should be FINAL the day the family comes and gets the child. End of story. I do feel for birthmoms, but I think the current laws are way too favoring of of them, and no one takes the adoptive families into consideration. Blood is NOT everything, people!!! I have 2 sons, not adopted and I could not imagine what a Bmom goes thru to give children up. But, I also could not imagine the horror and unfairness and the TRAVESTY of having your child, whom you took in, loved, cared for; basically being the PARENTS, and then someone comes in right at a year and rips the child away. Shameful.
I understand alll points of views, I am an adoptee struggling with looking for my own past; while trying to give my 2.5 year old daughter sarah who I put up for adoption, a life that I chose for her. The life I chose for her included me in it, min. once a year visitation. This is why I supposdly chose an OPEN ADOPTION, so that I wouldnt be bullied, but be respected. well that hasnt happened, and now I have to fight in anyway possible to get some contact with sarah, which is what I promised her. I find it very rude and selfish, of the system and the parents. everything that is going on right now sarah will hear about from me, I wont hide anything from her. Now tell me is it fair, to bully the birthmothers and adoptees. As an adoptee we are human beings to, what we feel inside is very strong and hurtful to hear bad things about our birthmothers. because as a birthmother I realize that there isnt that much support out there and most of time it doesnt end up being our 100% right desicion, we are just brainwashed into thinking that it is. So I vote no this bill should not be past, because we need to change the system, and instead of looking down upon birthmoms, help them, or support them not to put up for adoption altogether. What people dont realize is the more the peolple are insulting the adoptees birthmoms; the more you are bringing us adoptees down, and telling us that we are not excepted, because our mothers basically had us by MISTAKE, and thats how we came in this world, with out recognizing that adoptees are of different genes, and behave differently because, we are our own person, and yes have another family of our own out there. I am sarahs only blood relative, and she is my only blood relative, now how sad is that. Doesnt anyone have any sympathy or recognition, that us adoptees and birthmoms are live flesh with our own mind body and soul, and yes believe it or not we do have feelings. We are no an article of clothings, so dont treat us like we are aliens, that dont know what is flying, and society can just turn their backs on us, and pretend that mother child bonding is not important. It is the most important thing. Young mums wouldnt be so afraid when they new that they where pregnant had society excepted, that maybe their is a reason that they got pregnant in the first place. Who says that they are unfit mothers. who says that that a birthmother had she had the chance raise is an unfit mother, nobody can judge you unless they know the truth, and see it for themselves. I wont say that my birthmom is an unfit mother until or unless I speak to her and hear it straight from her what the reason was for giving me up. No one has the right to look down upon anybody. How is an adopted mother, Stepmother or Foster mother any better in raising the birthmothers child, then she is. I just dont get some people. There alot worse things to worry about then feeling threatened about the natural mother, and therefor mistreating her. If it wasnt for her adopted parents wouldnt have children. Anyhow i have had alot to say, so take care.
Love Dals- pro Natural Mothers and Single Mothers:(
I am an adoptee too. I do not feel bullied. I think my biomom did the best she could for me.
I am sorry but once you give a child up for adoption, they are no longer your child, legally anyway.
And b-mom/adoptee, how can you say an adoptive mother cannot raise a child just as well or better than the biomom. I beg to differ. My mother raised me just fine and I was adopted. I also found out my biomom was the sister of my adoptive mom, but I didn't know that until I was an adult. I knew her as my Aunt L. And to my biomom's credit, she NEVER let on who she was, and respected that I was now my adoptive familie's child. No one bullied her. She told me.
BLOOD IS NOT EVERYTHING!!! My sister has been in prison off and on for years, for drugs. My MOTHER is raising her kids, and ended up adopting them, and my sister had her rights severed, which in THAT case, needed to be done.
I think you are wrong to say we should convince biomoms to keep babies they cannot raise properly; mostly financially and other times emotionally too. My biomom was not emotionally or financially able to raise me. So you think females who pop out kids and have no resources should drain government resources and just have kid after kid and not have to be responsible? Surely you do not. You sound too smart for that.
BTW, I admire you for doing the right thing by your child. I think you are a wonderful person to realize adoption was best and for giving your child the best possible start in life.
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I had a bad adoption, and I dont think all adopted parents are bad, I think because I was chosen unfortunantly twice with adopted parents who were not understanding about adoption, I feel this way. Sarahs parents, and My parents. Me and my dad are pretty close, me and my mom never got along, so truthly I never really had a mother that raised me. I dont think all girls that get pregnant should have babies, their are circumstances, but I at least dont think they should be looked down upon, and be thought of as whores, or unfit mothers. alll im saying is that I think anybody can potentially be a mom, I just think that birthmoms should have a little more recognition and support, then they do. We did lose a child. has your mom seen you since you were born. its a little easier when youre in the family, youre lucky in that way. i wished I did that for sarah, but I had no family support, I did it on my own, placed her in a home to strangers, and handed them my only blood, and my trust, over to them, Its tough. If you have seen your birthmom did you ever ask her, how she felt, at the time of giving you up, and the pain and mourning she had to go through. I was only 19 then, and I am now almost 23. 2.5 years later, i try to make things different for sarah and me, by having an open adoption, and on going contact. unlike my own adoption, which was closed, and still closed, and international. at least me and sarah live around the corner from eachother but its still not good enough. I havent seen sarah for a year and a half, since she was one. I did not sign for that, and I will fight for it, as much as I can. If you want to reach me you can get me at wizard_of_paws@hotmail.com take care, Luv, Dalia
I knew her but she is now deceased (2 yrs now). Being adopted within my family is a strange thing. But I am glad I knew who she was. She and I talked. I told her what a brave, beautiful thing she did. She said she knew she couldn't raise me. She was afraid I would hate her. I told her no way in heck that would happen.
I agree that biomoms need to be respected, but honey, I still disagree with the waiting periods for finalization of adoptions. I think a year is waaaay too long. Adoptive parents need to be respected too.
I hope you get to see your child one day and tell her how you feel. The only thing I ask, is that you make sure she is wholeheartedly willing for that reunion. If you cannot see her until she is an adult, IMO, that would be better. Children just get all worked up and do not understand. I do not know who my biodad is and my biomom didn't quite recall who he was either. Hey life happens. But I would not bother him even if I did know.:D