Please Help Me with International Adoption!!!

...as to what this facilitator does. According to the website, it does NOT do homestudies. It does NOT place children. All it does is photolist children of various agencies and tell families about the programs in a variety of countries. And parents are expected to pay for this information. Maybe this facilitator is excellent, but it seems to me that adoptive families already go to many photolistings on the Internet where they do not pay any fees to find out about specific children in need of homes. They can also read up on adoption from specific countries on such websites as those of the U.S. State Department and many highly ethical agencies, without paying fees. In addition, they can identify agencies working in the countries of interest to them, by reading the "Report on Intercountry Adoption", and by using their favorite search engine. Also, here is what the U.S. State Department has to say about Estonia; you can read the rest of the statement by going to [url]http://travel.state.gov/adopt[/url] and then clicking on Estonia. "AVAILABILITY OF CHILDREN FOR ADOPTION: Recent U.S. immigrant visa statistics reflect the following pattern for visa issuance to orphans: FY-1997: IR-3 immigrant visas issued to Estonian orphans adopted abroad - 0 IR-4 immigrant visas issued to Estonian orphans adopted in the U.S. - 0 FY-1998: IR-3 Visas - 4, IR-4 Visas - 2 FY-1999: IR-3 Visas - 2, IR-4 Visas - 1 FY-2000: IR-3 Visas - 5, IR-4 Visas - 2 FY-2001: IR-3 Visas - 9, IR-4 Visas - 1 According to the Estonian Family Law only those children whose parents are deceased or whose parents have had their parental rights taken away may be adopted. There are few such children and long waiting lists of Estonian families who by law take precedence. According to the current law, healthy children should remain in Estonia. Only in cases where it is impossible to take sufficient care of a child in Estonia can that child be adopted internationally." This would suggest that only older and special needs children will be available for international adoption, if any children are. As you can see, only ten children were adopted from Estonia last year, and some of these may have been relative adoptions. According to the U.S. Embassy in Tallinn, Estonia, the Ministry of Social Welfare of that country says that the wait for assignment of a child can be several years or more, especially if the family wishing to adopt has no ties to the country. You can read the Embassy statement at [url]http://www.usemb.ee/adopt.php3[/url]

Thank you so much for your response I think we will most definetly looking elsewhere.Once again thanks for the advice!

Hi Kelly. I adopted an "older" child of 4 1/2 years from Estonia. Being older myself, I actually wanted a 10 year old when I first started looking into adoption, but the minute I saw my daughter's picture, I knew she was the one. I don't know where you are in your "consideration" phase of adopting. I remember the hardest part was deciding which way to go....which country....how old a child....what agency to use, if any. After being totally frustrated with our local state government in trying to adopt domestically, I decided to pursue international adoption. One of the best POSTING sites was Eastern European Adoption Coalition (EEAC) and now Adoption Forum as well. Gather information. There are also Estonian Adoption Forum groups on Yahoo. Estonia will not allow an independent adoption. Therefore, you must choose an agency to work with. It took me a total of 9 months from start to finish to bring my daughter home. The agency I worked with sent me a tape of my daughter, after I saw her picture on their web site. Adoption Patch is a good resource for these pictures as you can at least see some of the children. But, I would also recommend that you call several agencies to ask them about their program. Most important is to get REFERENCES. I initially worked with an agency that told me what I wanted to hear (specifically the director of the agency) and didn't know what they were doing. They knew what documents were needed for the dossier but didn't know the protocol of appointments to be made once we were over there. I had the good fortune of going over with another mother who was adopting previous to me, so I could meet my daughter and subsequently learned the ropes of what needed to be done when we were there. The first agency and I parted our ways after that (I was not happy with how they left us literally stranded over there and we - the other mother and I - had to be forthright in BEGGING for appts. so we could all go home on time). The second agency really did nothing. Our dossier was already over there, and we were waiting for the court date. You do not need to go over to Estonia. I'd happily oblige! :) But, you would be missing an opportunity to truly bond with your child and their heritage, no matter where you adopt from, if you don't go over there and bring them home yourself. Please read about bonding with an adoptive child. There are so many things that we take for granted that are so very important to them. Like the first time they leave their orphanage how happy but also traumatic it is when they are surrounded by people who don't speak the same language. Believe it or not, I broke the ice quickly with my daughter by blowing bubbles and playing balloon volleyball over the beds in our hotel. McDonalds in Finland was a TREASURE to her. Watching her face the first time she ate french fries with ketchup was precious (not very healthy but Finland was very expensive to eat and lodge at). You do what you need to. I would adopt another child from Estonia in a heartbeat. The government officials were both professional and personable. They truly care about the children and want to get to know you a little bit too before you leave the country. I liked the fact that it was not an adoption machine country where the children were flying out to be assimilated into other cultures. Estonia is careful, but I feel professionally caring in their pursuit for better lives for their children. I have guided and commiserated with many other families that have gone through the process. I am not affiliated with an agency, but am firmly committed to opening the door to others to seek the blessings of adoption. As previously posted, older children are the norm, but there have recently been young (year old to 18 month olds) adopted. I don't know what your age range is for consideration, but remain open that truly the right door will open for you to pursue. If there is anything I can do to help, even if just to listen, let me know. We've all been through the process of data gathering, rushing toward deadlines, trying to come up with the money for fees and travel, and then the waiting to hear that all is well and you can travel. My daughter has been with me for two years now. She is my greatest hero and I still marvel when I look into her eyes and know that she has all of her Estonian heritage in her strength and that I have somehow, added some gentleness and stability within her as well. Above all else, don't motivate your actions by fear. Trust your gut for it truly will show you the way if you listen. Good luck on your journey. PARVENAH

Being unmarried you need to research Post Agencies who will do the Homestudy first! Alot of Agencies will not consider unmarried couples who are living together. They see it as a' red flag' for a stability factor.

Yes, there are some agencies that won't work with unmarried couples, but I have not encountered them. Only one of the unmarried couple will likely be approved to adopt. Perhaps there are some out there that are unmarried and have adopted together? It would be great to hear about their experiences. I was married at the time of my daughter's adoption, but unrelated to the adoption (long story) we separated and divorced four months after. In my situation the failure of my marriage had nothing to do with the adoption. However, realistically, a child does stretch the boundaries of relationships and should be carefully considered by any single or couple. Children are a joy, but they are also challenging when your life has not been full of experience with them. The best advice I could give you is do your research well. As much as you might want an agency to approve and work with you, remember that YOU ARE THE CONSUMER, and THEIR client. You are paying them for their service and you MUST be comfortable in working with them. There are plenty of agencies out there and programs to work with. You'll find your way. We all have. Good luck, PARVENAH