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As an amom in an open adoption, I speak pretty regularly with my sons bmom. She seems to feel the need to remind me about her pain, and what she has gone through since placing our son. I am not ignorant to the pain a bmom feels, or how difficult a choice it must be. I do feel sympathy and I do have understanding. But I also get upset and wonder why she is telling it to ME. I was there with her in the hospital, and I saw the emotions and I am glad I was able to. It gave me an unbelievable amount of compassion and respect for not just her, but all Bmoms. I will never forget that day, as it was THE MOST heart wrenching and joyous day of my life. But at the same time, it bothers me to hear this over and over again. It brings me to this place that I don't like to be........a place filled with guilt. Guilt because I am enjoying this precious angel while she is suffering. I did not coerce her in any way to make an adoption plan, she sought us out. I am not sure if she is telling me her feelings because she feels close enough to me to share them with me, or if she thinks I don't understand ...or if she is telling me so that I feel guilty and feel indebted to her. I just don't know what to make of it...........
Anyone have any thoughts?????? ( Skye, you can probably help me out here, lol)
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Hello I am also a b mom with an open adoption of 12 yrs now. It could be she is doing this becouse you where there at the same time and shareing the same moment. She is sad and greaveing and you are the closest thing she may have right now. She needs to find a release and you seem to be the one she has choosen to be sad with. I don't think she is doing this in a mean way and I not sure how close you two have come before the birth but this is not so uncommen. When I placed my child with her forever family I to cryed on the phone after mollie was born to her mom many of times not knowing I was causeing her so much sadness also but it was all part of healing and bonding to my baby's A family. Try not to get to upset for she will get to a better place and if you went throw an agency thay should provide help her with countsuling. My adoption story is at [url]http://www.picturetrail.com/tinazimm[/url]
I wish you the best and open adoption does work it just takes time lot's of love and respect for each other. How old is your baby now? Tina:cool: :)
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