foster parent treated like parents

January 9, 2009

i have been in a battle for a year now my relatives were taken and put in foster care because of a death and neglect the same day they were put in foster care we stepped up to get them my sister and i at the time were both foster parents and had room for the children. even though we were foster parents we had to go through a background check again that took 6 weeks for them to come back when they just could of checked with the foster care agency. a day has not went by that we have not called to get in contact with the social worker when she finally came in contact with us it had been almost two month that had gone by it took the social worker almost two more months to meet with us. we had a visit with the children because the parents visits were stopped because the baby witch was 3months woke screaming through the night and the little boy witch is 2 kicked the dog it was them acting out.now the little boy has a theripst who said she didn't want relative placement because there is a bond and doesn't the little boy to get set back but we have been having visits for 9 months 2 month for 1 hour, 3 months for 2 hours, and now unsupervised in our home for 3 hours once a week. the foster mother wants to adopt she filed for defacto even though she knew we were trying to transition the children,the lawyer doesn't want relative placement because he said he has only been keeping in contact with the foster mother that has been feeding them so much stuff, the social worker that is a reunification worker has said she is not in 100 percent agreement with relative placement but it doesn't have anything to do with my husband and i.its been a year and we haven't even got to relative placement in court yet.the mother got pregnant soon after the children were removed and the baby was born in November she has down syndrome and has been placed with me but i haven't been able to get placement with my relatives there saying it is all up to the judge even though the children have a bond with us as well as have shown they can adjust in my home i am a county foster home and they are county foster children the county took so long to attempt to place the children that they created a bond with the foster mother that has four children of her own and is saying the one year old has dierrea because of stress when she comes to our home and the little boy kicks and yells at her because of coming to our home we were not in these children's lives before this took place because the parents lived in another town. i need advice on what to do next or what the outcome might be i don't know why we are going through this everyone that i talked to says that they don't understand it either please give me some feed back fast.

cantbuymeluv

January 18, 2009

OK since no one else is responding to you...........I will. I am NOT an expert. BUT like you I have been trying to get my relative for OVER a year now. I live in the same state but 12 hours away from my nephew, who is in foster care.

Visit my page and you can see a LOT of what has happened to me. I have a blog spot too with a LOT of letters on there.

First, what state are you in? Find your assembly member, senator, governor and WRITE a very factual letter explaining the situatioin pleading with them to help you. Request that they respond to you within 10 days.

Secondly, I PRAY that you are keeping detailed written records of EVERY time you call, talk, write, or visit with the child, lawyer, GAL, SW, etc.! PLEASE start if you have not. KEEP all written letters from the agency, etc. Make copies when necessary.

Next, be sure you have applied for relative placement, I know you are a foster parent now, but how updated is your home evaluation? Can you get licensed for adoption too? Call State Adoptions (works with CPS, unless your CPS happens to be licensed to do adoptions; most in CA are NOT) get an adoptive home study for your relatives, they CANNOT refuse you!!!

NEXT, have you contacted the foster parent ombudsman? DO it NOW if you have not, call and send a written complaint! USE family codes and what you feel they have done improperly. In CA 361.3(a) gives relatives preference when a child is placed OR MOVED! Also Higgins vs. Saenz gives CPS the policies for approving relatives. USE things like this to back up your complaint!

Lean heavily on your assembly member as they can help with case law.

Can you or have you built a sibling bond? Is it possible, I think you said you have the sibling? That plays a part in the case. Biological family ties go deep!

Get and or stay in contact with the relatives attorney, CASA (GAL), SW, Supervisor of SW, and the CPS Director!!!!

Get everything stamped that you turn in to them and keep copies.........prove that you have been trying since the beginning!

Call ADVOKIDS.ORG, their site has TONS of great info., the attorney will speak with you and give advice only.

Have you filed a 388 petition?

Do you have an attorney?

Can you file as de facto?

Can you participate in therapy with the relatives? (FROM experience, I witnessed CPS worker, foster mom, and State Adoption worker LIE in court to keep me from having overnights!) IF they say the children act up, then go to their therapy to work through it, EVEN if it is NOT true, which only God knows, when people lie. Either way, you can work with the kids, and see if they need any help too.

OK I am unsure of who the parents are? Can they or will they sign over their rights? It is better to have a designated relinquishment in your name than fight! Family code 8700(f) gives parents the RIGHT to choose who they sign over their rights to!!!!

Ask me anything. I am NOT an expert, but I do know that 6 months with a foster parent is the kiss of death to a relative! NO ONE tells you that in the beginning! NO ONE tells you about concurrent planning! NO ONE tells you that parents CAN give up their visits to have their child moved to your home!

I am NOT against adoption or foster parents!!!!!! I am NOT against HONEST SW, Supervisors, lawyers, CASA, and the like. I AM AGAINST any of the above who has an agenda and will LIE to get their way, will purposely put their wants before the CHILD's!

Write letters, call, and make yourself heard.

Please contact me whenever you want.

My email is kimmysbenz@hotmail.com

CA is VERY aware of me and still I FIGHT:)

BTW my nephew is ONLY 2 and has been in care since 11-07, he lived in MY home, with his mom for the first 10 months of his life! I contacted CPS days after he was detained!!!! I am an APPROVED relative with an approved adoptive home study and the foster parents are FIGHTING me for him, sadly they did not know that our family does NOT leave a child behind!!!!!