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Hello!
I am new to the group and thought I would just introduce myself. My name is Brenda and my hubby have been married 13 years (although we are just 32 & 37) and have 2 adopted boys ages 6 & 3. Our 6 year old boy is Cauc/Korean and our 3 year old is Cauc/Hispanic. We feel SO blessed to have been able to adopt them and will be forever grateful to their birthmoms. Unfortunately though, we have been going through a terrible time lately with 7 failed adoptions in the last 3 years! 6 of them were private adoptions and 1 of them was through foster care. We really don't know if we can handle much more of this roller coaster, but we know we have got to keep on trying because we know there are more children meant to be in our family - we are just having trouble finding them :) We feel their are some very special little girls meant to join our family and we are open to toddlers, sibling groups, most ethnic backgrounds and minor special needs.
If any of you have any advice in helping us find our little angels, it would mean everything to us. Many blessings to all of those searching for the perfect family for their special baby and to those searching for their children.
Brenda ;)
Welcome :)
Hi , are you foster parents then. If so I'm sure you've contacted them and told them this. Can I ask how so many fell through? Not knowing any back ground I can just say your little girls are still being prepared to come home to you then :)
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Thank you for the welcome!
We live in the state of Illinois and they require that everyone who wants to adopt become licensed as foster parents first. So we haven't actually had any foster children in our home, but we are licensed foster parents.
We were selected out of over 100 interested families to adopt two little girls who are in foster care in the state of Kentucky. For four months they told us the girls didn't have any major problems and then about two weeks after they selected us we found out that there was a strong possibility that they both had very serious psychological, mental and abusive issues. However, we were still going forward. But after I asked a few questions, the state of KY all of a sudden decided to withdraw our names as the girls parents (even though I asked when they selected us if the would change their mind & they told us absolutely not, we were the only ones who could change our mind). And even though they told us to ask questions, all we can figure is... they really didn't want us to ask any questions.
One of the other private adoptions which fell through was due to the birthfather deciding not to sign the papers and the other 5 which fell through were due to the birthmother's deciding to single parent. I keep reminding myself that trials make us stronger and give us strength and patience, but sometimes I feel like I've "grown" enough. It would be SO nice to just have an "easier" adoption. Are you an adoptive parent?
Thanks again for the welcome!
Brenda
Hi Brenda,
I just wanted you to know my heart goes out to you. We, too, have been through 3 emotional adoptions that didn't work out for various reasons beyond our control. Each time was so painful, heartbreaking, emotional. We have the same feelings that you do...there is a baby that is meant for our family. I have had people tell me that maybe these "roadblocks" are signs that we shouldn't adopt, and I really don't believe that. Through all of this, our faith has never been stronger. We just pray that we are brought together with the baby that is meant for our family. And through each experience, we have grown, learned, and have become better people. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone, and it was comforting to me to know that there are people who are experiencing similiar things and feeling similiar things. I wish you the very best on your adoption journey.
Hi,
I hate it when people tell us not to do something or it isn't meant to be because it is so difficult. I think sometimes the best things in life you have to work hard for so we all appreciate them and cherish them as we get them :)
Now back to your question of being a a parent . My husband and I have been married ten years this August. We have to biological children 3 and 6. We have always wanted to adopt and our now ready and hoping we can add to our family through adoption. We have been foster parents for two years and rarely get calls do to us only taking four and younger. We also want are own children to not feel like kids come and go in our home but that our future adopted ones will be here forever and there will be no difference. Fostering is a whole different parenting game..... I hope all goes well with you . It sounds like you have had enough and have definetly proved your going to adopt . You deserve your children and they will be very lucky someday. It's so hard to be patient, but it all works out. Keep your head up :) Thank you for sharing your story with us. Johnna