will they be jewish

My wife is Jewish and her family background actually comes from Russia and the Ukraine. In other words, they have Jews over there too! Also, Jews come in all shapes and sizes, so I'm not sure you can necessarily tell if someone is a Jew just by looking at them. I am a converted Jew myself and my Russian-born son (who has blonde hair and blue eyes) is being raised in a Jewish household - hence, he IS Jewish. If you child will be raised in a Jewish home and will be converted by a Rabbi, then she *is* Jewish, no matter what anyone thinks. If someone is not going to want to marry her because she doesn't meet their ignorant perception of what a Jewish person is supposed to look like, then this person is probably not a good match for her! :) Please remember that adoption is highly regarded in Judaism and the very first Jews themselves were involved in adoptive families. I wouldn't worry too much about perception of others - as long as you are doing what's best for you and your family and your child.

Pardon me if I do a double take here. I'm sure things are quite different in Israel than in the US, but I experienced exactly the same fears when I adopted my son 18 yrs ago. My (then) husband and I are Jews who are accepted as "looking" Jewish in middle America. We are of European ancestry, fair skin, hair and eyes. We adopted our son from India. He is brown skinned with black hair and eyes so dark brown they look black. Being from Inida, he has thick, straight black hair and strongly chisled features. We had our son converted by an Orthodox Bet Din at the age of 15 months. We raised him in a Jewish home and sent him to an Orthodox Jewish Day School through 8th grade. As a teen, he was active in NCSY (the Orthodox youth group in the US). When he graduated from high school last year, he decided he did not want to go to college but chose instead to join the US Army. He identifies as Jewish. He knows no other religion. We did experience some problems just prior to his Bar Mitzvah. The local Chief Orthodox Rabbi (very European in appearance and origianlly from either Poland or Russia himself) decided to question my son's conversion. I'm not sure what motivated him but it could have been my son's skin color, the fact that my husband was totally non-observant by this time and I tended toward a more liberal practice of Judaism, that my son would celebrate his Bar Mitzvah in a Conservative (and not Orthodox) synagogue, that he was adopted, or any combination of those. The man caused my son a great deal of stress. But looking back, this made my son's Bar Mitzvah a true "Rite of Passage". He proved to HIMSELF that he was indeed a Jew. Essentially, the Chief Rabbi used his positon in the Orthodox community to attempt to force my son out. He did not succeed. Our Conservative congregation fully embraced my son and let him know that his status as a Jew was NEVER in question with them. My son learned a valuable (although painful) lesson about bigotry. Yes, I would have preferred to spare him that lesson, especially at that time of life, but he became a stronger person because of it. About 5 yrs later, my son finally got closure on this matter. He was on his way to a Shabbaton in another city. One of the chaperones (a young Orthodox Rabbi) came up to my son and told him he had personally sought out a difinitive answer, once and for all, about my son's status as a Jew. He had spoken with several very highly respected Orthodox authorities both in Israel and the US. They declared that once a child is converted through Orthodox conversion it is as if the child were born a Jew. The degree to which the child and/or his parents practice their Judaism has NO bearing on the child's Jewishness. The Chief Rabbi had been totally out of line in questioning my son's Jewishness. So, if the Rabbinic authorities declare your child a Jew through conversion, and you raise her as a Jew (however YOU define that), SHE IS A JEW! Oh, one last thing, my son has NEVER had any problems being the only dark-skinned Jew in the community. He has dated several of the girls he grew up with and went to school with...all of them white and of European ancestry. So I'm sure your daughter will have no problem finding a Jewish mate of ANY color when the time comes. Mazel Tov!!!! Lili

:D I have two adopted children. They are adopted from Peru and Ecuador. Both were converted via Orthodox Beth Din. Although both look `different` to their friends, they are very much accepted and nobody has cast doubt on their conversions or their Jewishness. They are now both young adults. I think what sums it all up is what a Rabbi once said to me. He said that when all the children of Israel were gathered at Mount Sinai - even the souls of Jewish people not yet born were there, and this means that the souls of any Jew was there - especially that of a soul that was going to be converted to Judaism. Our adopted childen that we converted ARE Jewish and always will be. Good luck to everyone.

I am an adult adoptee who has been raised jewish. I could never imaginge not being jewish. So in my search for my birth mother the person who is searching infomred me I couldn't possibly be jewish my mother doesn't have a jewish name. I went crying to my Rabbi who told me Absolutly I am JEWISH. I was raised jewish and live a jewish life. So worry not what your beautiful lucky children look like. They will grow up with your love and learn the jewish ways. They will be accepted and loved the way they are. Enjoy your wonderful children. They are lucky to have wonderful loving parents.Shabbat Shalom.

My husband and I have adopted three children. I am bi-racial and my husband is white; we were both raised in Orthodox homes, and are raising our children the same. All three attend an Orthodox day school and are very much accepted as members of the community. My son just became a Bar Mitzvah and his speech had the whole Shul in tears. His Torah portion was Lech Lecha, when Abraham became a Jew! He compaired himself with Abraham, Circumsion, moving to a new place and changing his name and he brought the house down! Remember, Jew's come in all colors! Teach your children to be proud of who they are, both their religion and their ethnicity and they will grow up to be positive Jewish adults no matter what they look like! Yaakov, our son, wants to be an Orthodox Rabbi here in america; and knowing him he will be! Know that once they are converted they are JEWS! B'shalom, Yocheved

I absolutely agree with your response. While I am not jewish we are Yisra'elites and it does not matter what we look like. We are all adopted as sons and daughters by our Father in Heaven. He even states that there is is one Torah for the native and the ger (sojourner). LevisBrother your daughter will be jewish by joining your family, thus sojourning with Judah. Just love her and raise her in your faith and the truth of our Father and all will be well. Trust that HaShem will provide a husband for her and He will. Shalom AlechimGoinCrazyin Quincy, CAB'nai Ysra'el

In Israel, it is much easier to be accepted as Jewish no matter what your physical appearance is. And if she has the legal documentation to show that she was converted, there is no issue. I wouldn't worry. Best wishes!

Like several others said, not to worry. There are pleny of Jews here in the USA with fair complexions, light hair and blue eyes. I can't imagine that Israel, with all of the immigrants from Eastern Europe, does not have a good amount of the same. My mother has fair skin, red hair, and blue eyes - she doesn't "look Jewish." But spend 30 minutes with her and you'll have no doubt. ;)

Hi everyone, my husband and me are 100% Jewish. We adopted a girl from Kazakhstan in 2003. Obviously she is Muslim. My challenge is when she gets older and will understand more about being Jewish like mom and dad to convert her.Right now she is not ready at all. She is 11 years old now and has no clue what it means to be Jewish.I am hoping to find a unaffiliate Rabbi who will convert her. We asked a Rabbi in our synagogue about the conversion and we must be the synagogue members. We are not religious Jews. I go to this synagogue on Yom Kippur mainly.My dream has been to convert my girl. My husband takes it a lot easier. But I take it harder - wanna see my girl converted and marrying a Jewish man. :)

I'm blonde with green eyes and a teeny nose. Not one "Jewish" feature on the outside but 100% of my blood is Jewish. My son is Guatemalan and we are searching for a synogogue with families of all shapes, sizes and colors. I'm pretty confident we'll find one soon.I don't know why but your post reminded me of an old joke.A Jewish man goes to China on vacation. He wakes on Shabbat morning and goes out in search of a place to pray. He stumbles upon a magnificant shul. He enters the shul to find Shabbat services in full swing. After services he hangs around to meet the Rabbi who was, of course, Chinese. He walks up to him and says "Rabbi, I've been all over the world and I have to say, yours is the most beautiful synogogue and your service was incredible". The Rabbi smiles, looks him up and down and says "Your Jewish?? Funny, you don't look Jewish".

I was born to christian bparents and adopted by a jewish couple. I was converted orthadox. I have blonde and blue eyes and had bat-mitzvah and was in USY (the youth group) and now i'm in Hillel (the college jewish organization) and i'm planning on doing birthright. I look the opposite of Jewish and I have yet to have a problem with others not considering me Jewish and actually by jewish law, when someone is converted no one can mention the conversion unless the convertee mentions it themselves first... my rabbi told me that one!

[FONT=Georgia]SHALOM, I agree completely with EJ's Dad. You should not worry about others. Your child IS Jewish if converted and raised Jewish. To look or not to look like Jewish is not your concern at all.

Let me tell you this ... I was born in Moscow, Russia many moons ago, living in the States since 1981. I am 100% Jewish and I did not look like one when I was young (probably look like one now). Then I had much lighter hair and the same blue eyes. In the synagogue I made some people raise their eyebrows. :eyebrows: LOL [/FONT][FONT=Georgia]

So, please don't worry. Just make the best for your child. It's most important. [/FONT] [FONT=Georgia]We adopted a girl from Kazakhstan and we are trying to raise her Jewish. It's more difficult to do in the States than in Israel: the conversion costs a lot of money.

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I agree with you JewishAdoptionBlog.

I've talked with both of the rabbis in my town about this, because I have had some of the same concerns. What I have been told is that when someone is converted as a child they need to perform any Jewish act as an adult to confirm this conversion as their choice, and they are then considered to be Jewish adults. Since bar or bat mitzvah marks adulthood, no child who was converted has to do anything different than what any other child would be doing anyway.

I'm so glad I found this thread. it's so great to hear that overall experiences have been positive - I had a meeting today that made me feel a bit uncomfortable and I need to vent about it - please forgive me in advance if this drags on... we're almost done our homestudy - and just had a meeting with our local rabbi to talk about conversion. we live in a medium size city with a small but well represented jewish community. we have 3 synagogues (1 orthadox, 1 conservative, 1 reform). we consider ourselves to be traditional, but are not very observant. when we do go to synagogue we go to the orthadox one, so we decided to meet with that rabbi first and the meeting left me with some very mixed feelings. the rabbi made it sound like the conversion process is similar to adoption in that there is a checklist of things to do, but different in that it really is never ending and that no matter what we do and where we get the conversion done it will always come to question at key points in our child's life (bar mitzvah, wedding etc). he also had some pretty big stipulations of things that we must do in order for the conversion to go through. the 2 big ones that we really aren't sure how we feel about are moving within walking distance to the synagogue and attending the hebrew day school. these are pretty big things as we had zero intention of ever doing either one. our neighborhood is a great one - it's less than 10 minutes drive to the shul, but not walking distance - and there are tons of jewish families there - we were able to quickly rhyme off several families that live in our neighbourhood and belong to the orthodox synaguge, whose kids were bar mitzvahed there and all go to public school - not the jewish hebrew day school. sending our kids to public school here means our kids will never be the only jewish kid in their class - yet have all the benefits of a large public school board. the particular hebrew day school associated with the orthadox synagogue teaches judaism in a way that isn't in line with our beliefs, and they are not well equipped to support special needs or behavioral differences which we don't specifically anticipate - but could come up. they also want us to keep kosher at home and keep shabbat - which we pretty much do anyways since we are vegetarian, and shabbat we celebrate in our own way - no one is going to come to our house to make sure we aren't ever turning the lights on. All in all I felt like we would have to be model jewish parents in order for our child to even get their paperwork signed. and even then - the rabbi seemed to suggest that it would still pretty much always be questioned and that it's entirely possible that one day someone will pop up and say 'nope - not good enough - you've got to do it all over again'. kids who are adopted already have unique challenges in terms of their identity - to help them feel they have a jewish identity only for someone else years from now to tell them they don't is making me feel really frustrated. In theory - we could shop around - the reform synagogue is a very open and accepting one with a lot of diversity in it's congregation and I'm sure would openly accept our child(ren) - but their services are very very different than what we're used to - it would feel like a pretty big deviation from the traditions we enjoy - and at the end of the day - it sounds like a reform conversion doesn't hold up anywhere except the reform community - which I guess might be ok. It just seems odd that we should have to shift away from the community that we have always been a part of - we will of course do whatever is best for our children - I just think it's sad that that might end up being what is best... I find it frustrating that any other jew is a jew - period. If my husband or I don't go the services one sunday, or have a slice of pepperoni pizza no one would ever question if we were jewish - but for our child - it's like if they make one wrong move (or we make one wrong move) they're suddenly exiled. Anyways - I really am sorry to have dragged on so long. I appreciate any insights or suggestions or ideas people have that might help give us some direction and appreciate all the stories that have already been shared.