Lifebook Tip for the Week of May 12 2003 -- involving your child

My daughter is four years old and she attends preschool twice per week. She is constantly bringing home images that she has drawn of our family of four, sometimes with each family member's name scribbled above the corresponding face. I'm the one with long hair (sometimes purple!) and glasses. I look at this picture with admiration and with gratitude that it shows positive, loving images. She must be secure! I also think to myself, "perhaps it would be enlightening for her to draw a picture of what she thinks her birth father looks like". Would it be as positive an image? Would she draw a beard on him that resembles the beard that my husband wears? If your child is old enough, involve him in the creative process and let him help design the lifebook! It will be good, quality time that you spend together and it also increases his enthusiasm to read the lifebook and be proud of the contents. Other than drawing pictures for inclusion in the lifebook, children can contribute to the creation in other ways. For younger children, let them pick out the colors or theme for a certain section or let them apply stickers to decorate a page. For older children, let them pick out the photos to use or suggest a layout for those photos. Older children can also do internet research on native customs or cultural events significant to his place of birth or on the origin of the name he was given at birth. In my opinion, the more your child feels a part of "his" story, the easier it will be for him to come to grips with and accept it. Perhaps his involvement with the creation of his lifebook will make it seem all the more real to him, like it is truly his own.