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Well my sister inlaw had another girl....number 4.
My childrens birthdays are 3 weeks apart with my birthday in there to but that is irrelevant to me because it is all about my boys day.
I hate to say this but my sister inlaw hates that I sometimes am more important than her which is not my agenda.....only hers. For some reason I had the first grandchild which she is still angry about for some silly reason. When we began to have problems conceiving our second child she was rather insensitive with responses that are still hurtful to this day. And then I had to hear all about her next child and look at emails of the ultrasound that really set me off. But anyway that is history. She was always good at keeping the births of her 3 kids during the fall months since my kiddos were in late May and June.
Well I am over sensitive about the entire issue of not having anymore children and try to understand when friends and family become pregnant. But I felt it was a slap in the face when she kind of said she was pregnant in their Christmas card.....We all had to guess. She never sent any emails which is probably a good thing for me....kept me a little more even with my thoughts. But the looming thought of another baby coming is hard to forget when you can't have more and feel powerless.
Dh is so understanding but still in the middle of the night you begin to doubt yourself and so many other things.....but then it goes back to my 2 wonderful boys I have and then I fall asleep with this smile on my face.
I feel that my sister in law decided that she needed to be in the middle of my family so her 4th child (she has 2 boys and now 2 girls) was born in between my boys birthday. She knew that I would love to have more but cannot because we cannot afford another adoption.
I know its all about me and that I shouldn't feel that its all about me but I am having this pity party about me.....lol I have never wished anything bad about my nieces or nephews(I love them all) but when it makes me sad its hard to go forward at times. Thats just me.