7 months post adoption

And it ain't getting any easier. I love showing her pictures to my friends, they hate it. It makes everyone cry to mention her, so I don't. And I still sleep with her blanket (can't sleep without) Miss her voice the most today. Wish I could of give her a bath just once! Mad at myself for not being firmer on my time with her before the adoption. I wanted more time with her, they regulated the amount each day. Afterward I learn she was still my baby then, I had the right. Oh well, I think I'm in the grief/angry stage of the process. I keep self evaluating myself in hopes I make progress I can see. I can celebrate her 7 month birthday in 2 days, by myself again. I won't bake a cake this time (that was just because the 6 month is special) but I do get so excited and proud of her that day(especially that day, I mean) The night of her b-day is the pits though. I just feel like Im missing out on so much! I am, but it's not about me anymore. It never could be about me again. I tried that one day and it' didn't feel right. I guess that's what being a mom is about. Dang, I love that girl!