Feelings. Sometimes I wish I didn't have them!

I woke this morning with a very heavy heart. I just can't help myself from worrying about all the "what if's". I know about all of the things that can go wrong and I really become scared. I worry that we will not be able to find a child that is 3 years and under to adopt. Sometimes I feel very guilty that we are searching for a child that young. Especially since there are so many deserving kids that are older, who needs a loving family. I just want to raise a child from the younest age possible. But, on the flip side of the coin- I know in our hearts that when we find that special child we will just feel it in our hearts, no matter what age they are. I feel guilty because we do not want to foster-to adopt. I know that my husband and myself want a child so much that we would fall so deep in love with the child that it was kill us emotionally to let the child go. I think our heart can only handle adoption.