Hello I'm a bio mom and I'm trying to look for some answers without any judgement please and thank you. I've been going forward with a dcf case or third party (casemanagement) for 3 years now I have 2 boys in custody 4 and 2 but at the time of placement my oldest was 2 and my youngest was a few months old. I had gotten kicked out of my parents home because they did not like the fact of my relationship with my boyfriend who was trying to step up and be the father to my children. I grew up in a dysfunctional household so there were never any set rules. When I had given birth to my oldest son I went through bad ppd and I had my mom help me out more than I should have allowed her to and I believe she had became too assessive with being his actual parent that she would dismiss a lot of my say in things regarding my children so when my current boyfriend (who I'm now carrying his child) had stepped into the picture (bio dad was rarely in picture) and we tried to raise the kids in our own way my parents weren't liking of that and we had gotten into a huge argument which resulted in both of us being kicked out but my kids. Hopeless we had nowhere else to go and so I left my children there and we decided that we had to get into our own place but anytime I would come visit my kids or take them anywhere it would be a blowout fight with my mother that resulted her assaulting me with my oldest in my hands to which he fell to the floor and ran I managed to get my youngest out of the house but before I could retrieve my oldest my mom had locked the door and we had to call the police to get him out. The only option we thought would have been the best one was dcf because we had nobody else to take us or the kids in. We called a dcf worker who came out and we explained the situation to her which she in turn asked us if this was something that we really wanted to do because she would have to write up a report that would make it garuantee that they would be placed in foster care. After she made this report up we went to our first court hearing and we signed a caseplan. My caseplan consisted of 5 things-
1. Housing
2. Employment
3. Therapy
4. Parenting classes
5. Medication management
Me and my boyfriend were homeless for 2 out of 3 years at 2 years is when the goal changed from reunification/concurrent adoption to sole goal of adoption with the judge telling me to continue to work on my caseplan also with this whole case they have not tried to work with my boyfriend who offered to do services to improve our home and make it better and instead had to pay out of pocket when the judge ordered the state to give him services. Fast forward to last year we were still living in our vehicle at the time and we had gotten into a bad argument which resulted a bystander to call the police who came and arrested my boyfriend who was in the heat of the moment and charged him with DV. After the state dropped the charges due to not enough evidence dcf used it against us and is now claiming domestic volience in the home despite it being over a year ago and and the fact I had to stop taking my medication due to my pregnancy they refused to do a homestudy until "behavioral change" was proven my attorney put In a motion for a court date about reunification 3 months before trial is set. My trial date is this Tuesday coming up and I'm debating if I should fight it or surrender. This is my first ever case and I was niave putting my children in the system but believed it was the best option at the time going through it blindly but seeing it only strained my life and my relationship and especially my children's lives whom my oldest son always ask about coming to my house. I'm scared I have never been in this situation and I just want my kids back but I'm terrified if I go through this court date that I'll lose my two and put my 3rd one on the line. My boyfriend says to sign all my rights over to him and it would be a done deal but I'm not sure if that is going to work. Please help me if anyone can give me the best advice it'll be greatly appreciated.