RaBeth

I can identify where you are coming from! Less than 4 wks ago I found bio-mom, 6 half bio-siblings and several other biological relatives. I was raised with an older sister, also adopted, not biological to me. I shared ths info from the start with my adoptive parents out of respect but to also tokeep them in the loop of happenings in my life. They were happy for me to have found connections. Not any more. Now it's turned ugly. My adoptive sister is now shunning me, and is offended that I want to form connections with bio relatives even saying "they are nothing to you, just share the same egg donor and stats on a page" (other comments they have said are far worse). My adoptive parents have also turned on me because THEY don't want ME to call any siblings "sister" or "brother" (how the hell else do I describe their relations?!). I understand everyone has so much to process and any adoptee will ALWAYS be caught in the middle. I feel adoptees have the right to be curious about dna relations and not everyone will be ok with that. In my case it seems my adoptive family feels threatened by the new connections and an underlying fear of being replaced. These insecurities have absolutely nothing to do with you! Everyone will process differently. Only advice I can offer to you (and myself) is don't rip yourself off trying to manage other's feelings and emotions. You are deserving of information and forming new friendships with anyone! It's your story not your adoptive mom's. It might be you need to come to terms with the fact that an adoptive family won't ever fully understand nor are they required to so perhaps try to take your A-mom's reaction with a grain of salt. It hurts but until they come around it's simply how it is. Good luck to you!