September 12th 2005
Well, as we suspected, Tara's problems are not that big of a deal. She has been caught lying and cussing and not following directions, but for a 13 year old I can think of a lot worse things to be going on. Barbara told us about why Tara was told she couldn't go to the volleyball tournament after she left with another girl to get a burger without permission. Plus she then lied about the coach cussing at her to Barbara and Joe, so they said she should probably not be allowed to go. Tara apparently was very quiet that night when she got home because she knew she got caught and it was a good lesson for her to learn. She also left one night with B* another Fosterchild in the home, but they think she did it because B* told her too because it was B*'s friend. Tara has problems standing up to B* and apparently Amber too, but this morning Barbara said B* was looking for her hairbrush and having a fit about it and Tara said, "It's downstairs, but I'm not gonna get it for you." Barbara was proud of her for standing up to B* and said normally she would have got it for her. Barbara also told us about Tara's visit with Amber, where apparently she not only told her not to cut her hair, but also not to be adopted! I was horrified, but relieved later when Barbara told us Tara could not stop talking about us and her day and was very excited and happy. That is so awesome and I am so relieved she liked us and I guess now is starting to look forward to being with us. Barbara said she talked to Tara about how Amber is doing now on her own and how she doesn't want that for her life and she agreed, but in her teenage way. Barbara is completely supportive of us adopting Tara because she thinks her getting away to a new environment might be just what she needs. I agree if her Sister is trying to influence her negatively, but she clings to her because she's one of the few people she's known for a long time. I'm so sorry Tara has to go through this, she really is such a sweet girl and has so much potential for greatness. I do feel for Amber too, but cannot support her while saying horrible things to Tara and trying to boss her around. I bought Tara a simple card today just to let her know we had a good time with her and reassure her in our absence that we look forward to seeing her again soon. I'll probably mail it tomorrow, but need to figure out what to write in it. I think that's it, more soon I'm sure!