Susan Franques

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Status Update: #4136

Susan Franques February 15, 2024 3:49 am

Hello everyone. I just feel the need to post on here in defense of birth mothers. I am a birth mom. I have put my information out everywhere I couldn't had knowledge of. It has been a long 37 yrs since I seen my son's perfect face. I had high hopes he would come look for me but unfortunately he hasn't. I did my DNA on ancestry and no matches besides family I do already know.

I have read several posts from adoptees thinking their birth moms didn't care bc they are not looking for them. I want y'all to know it is not like that more a big percentage of us birth moms. I had a closed adoption. I chose it bc I didn't want to be able to interfere in his life. I didn't want him to be confused by whom I was. I had only hoped his parents would tell him he was adopted and come look for me when he was of age. Now I am stuck with thoughts of not knowing if he knows he is adopted or what was he told about me and why I did it. For the majority of us birth mothers we didn't have a choice in the decision of keeping or adoption. Some may want you to believe that but I didn't have really a choice. My parents said they were not going to raise my child. I was scared because I was 15 yrs old. How was i going to feed my child much less clothed him. No one told me about resources or any help. I knew I couldn't provide because I didn't know better. So please don't be so harsh on your birth mom. If anything at least give her the chance to tell you her side. It could be so difficult than you were told or how it happened.

The agency I went through lied and manipulated me and others. I have stories I could tell. I'm not out to bash anyone or any agency. I just want to have the blessing of telling my son how much I loved him and the story of why I gave him up. I'm so afraid he hates me or feels like I didn't want him. That is so far from the truth. I think about him almost everyday. I had a son After him and my 1st born will always be welcomed in my home. All I wanted to do was make the best out of the situation. I wanted him to have a chance at being successful. I look at kids that are 15 yrs old and wonder how anyone that age could parent a child correctly mostly with no support from family.

I wish I could change the way adoptions are today. 99% of the agencies are liars and manipulated children then turn around and practically sell babies. I would like to keep families together and be able to give resources so they can raise their children.

I miss my son and I pray all the time he can forgive me and/or give me a chance to put my eyes on him. I want to know he is okay. God please allow me this.

So please give your birth mom a chance to explain herself. Benefit of a doubt. We need to all come together and have faith. I am a good person and all I want it to meet my birth son.

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Nancy Shokoff and Nora Sears like this.

Frederick Schilling

As an adoptee, at 53 years old, I personally am only now ready to begin to learn about my birth / biological family...everyone will have their own timeline, their own reasons...and not everyone will ever want to take this journey...we all make our choices in life and we all have to live with the con...

February 15, 2024
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Susan Franques

Hello, thank you for your input. No he certainly doesn't owe me anything. I owe him his medical/family history. This should be readily available but as we all know it is not. I still have hope and faith. I pray he does come around but if not I know I did everything I could to find him and let him kn...

August 12, 2024
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Jacob ColbyAdams

Hi Susan,

I found out that I was adopted at five years of age. I too, had feelings that "my birth mother" didn't want me. But I think that came from other people, not my parents, not from myself internally. I was assured that I was loved and not just loved, but loved just as much as my parent's natur...

August 13, 2024
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Susan Franques

Thank you Jacob. That was really sweet of your to respond like you did. I still have faith he will want to know more about me. I saw pictures of him from spying on Facebook but gosh I would almost do anything to just have a normal conversation with him to see how he has done for himself. I want him ...

August 27, 2024
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Sarah CG

I am an adoptee. My parents told me I was adopted around 8 years old. Once I turned 18, I began the search for them. I am now 39 yrs old and still cannot find anyone. It was a closed adoption, making it very difficult. I hope my bio mom knows I'm thinking of her.

September 1, 2024
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