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First off, can I just vent for a sec. We have just come home with the most amazing blessing from God. A beautiful AA girl. She is awesome and humbling and full AA. We are very light caucasian and our other 2 girls are biological. There is not one difference in the emotion i felt picking up this little bundle compared to the other two.
That said, has anyone else had to listen to dumb things from friends and family, like "My daughter has a little black dolly too" or "Maybe you should take her to the Animal Kingdom(Disney) they have a lot of African culture stuff there" (She is a week old) I have been truly dumbstruck!!! How have others handled this kind of thing? I would love to hear some bits of wisdom. Thanks a lot
Reflecting on the age of your daughter, I'm sure I would respond with laughter! Laughter will help it not get to you. Then I might say, "Good idea! She's our daughter just like the other two and will be raised (your nationality) just like her sisters, and we will all eat curry, tamales, borsch, and one hundred-year old eggs with crumpets and tea on a regular basis while dressed in our kimonos!"
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People are amazing, aren't they???
I suggest your read "Inside Transracial Adoption" by Beth Hall and Gail Steinberg.
It is excellent. The authors have both adopted transracially as well as running an adoption agency that specializes in placing children of color.
Good Luck!
All I can say is. . . don't go to Wal-Mart! lol
When I'm out with my daughter alone, people must assume I'm her bio mom because they don't say much.
If my dh and I are out with her, people sometimes get a confused look on their faces that my dh likes to call a "hamster cramp." That is, the hamster that's running on the wheel in their little brain trips, smashes its nose on the metal bars and flips end-over-end a couple of times because the scene before them just doesn't compute. We went to the zoo this past weekend and saw a couple of people have "hamster cramps." We actually enjoy spotting them now. lol
Also, one of my dh's co-workers actually went to another co-worker and said "There is NO way that is HIS baby. His wife is CHEATIN' on him!" The other co-worker busted out laughing and told him that Bella was adopted. And called him a dumb*** for good measure, too. LOL
We've also had people say what a nice tan Bella has. My dh told one lady that we had the Graco Baby Tanning Bed and it was great! I told someone that she was going to be in the Baby Hawaiian Tropic Calendar. DUH! She was under six months old when these people said this stuff about her "tan."
I'm sure we have more to come. Just let it roll off your back or laugh, if possible. Sure, there will be some mean people out there, but luckily, most aren't.
Blessings on the new baby! SIGH! Mine's fifteen months old and I'm already getting baby fever again!
Sarah
Our bi-racial little boy gets comments about his "tan" all the time. We, my wife and I, both pretty light-skinned CA, both respond, "Thanks! It's amazing what a little sun will do". This gets a really confused look on their face and they walk on. What's really funny is that our son (20-months old) will give people the nastiest stare if they make a funny comment about him. We're really trying to teach him to be nice to everyone, but he's already figured out that if they're rude to him (through comments), he's returning the favor. If you're nice to him, he's the most loving baby out there, no matter if he's known you all his life, or 5 minutes. Anyone else have a little one who's like that?