what is open adoption?

Well, in our open adoption, the Birth Mother will get a yearly report,a nd pics twice or three times a year. She is also free to email anytime, and call. A open adoption is one where you keep contact wiutht he birth parents. Hope that helps.

yes it did help thank you!

Not all open adoptions are like that. Mine is very open and I get to visit once every 2 weeks or so. We meet at eachothers house not at some public place. Just something to think about. Talk to the adoptive parents and find out how open they want it to be.

My adoption plan is also very open. I get to see her once a month. I also get letters and pictures every month. We have exchanged home phone numbers and addresses also. I think the important part is to find out what you are comfortable with and then discuss this with the adoptive couple.

ours has been like this since the beginning. I don't really think that we discussed it. We went to their house before I delivered and saw everything, and while I was in the hospital they came almost everyday and they would hang out at my house with my family while I was in the hospital. They had dinner over here almost every night. It just kind of came natural for that to happen. We have thought of them as family from the get go.

Thank you for all of your help it has been very helpful. I am just wondering why someone might want to do that why someone might want to give a parent back the rights they lost by giving away their child. I dont mean that in a crule or rude way at all and if thats what it sounds like im sorry but i am just wondering

My name is Lisa and I made an adoption plan for my son before he was born. He just turned 1 last month. I used to think of it as 'giving him away' just as you do. But I didn't. What I did was realize that at this point in my life I am not ready to be a parent, mentally, emotionally, educationally, or finacially. I was raised by a single mother who struggled my whole life to give me the bare necessities. While I do not regret my childhood, I do want more for my child. I can see how much she sacraficed for us and I have an awesome amount of respect for my mom - she is the strongest person I know. I have not completed college, and when I became pregnant I had only been with my boyfriend for 1 month. I do not believe in marriage for the sake of a child, and I felt that it would be nearly impossible for us to work on our relationship if we had kept our son. I wanted him to have an all-together-all-of-the-time family, to have a safe, secure, home with a mommy and a daddy. It was not an easy choice, but I did what I thought was best for my son, because I love him beyond all belief. So why would I want to continue to be a part of his life after releasing him for adoption? I am his mother, and I always will be, but it takes more than giving birth to be a mom. I am his heritage and only I can answer the questions he will have as he grows up. I need to be able to see for myself that he is happy and loved and that I did the right thing. I do not want him to live in a fantasy world where he imagines that I am things that I am not. I do not want him to throw the "You aren't my real parents" card when he gets angry at his mom and dad. They are his real parents and always will be. I want him to have every opportunity for success in life and to live comfortably. By letting me be a small part of my son's life, his parents are not giving me back the rights that I gave up. They are providing him with a piece of his life that they can never fill. Some children don't have even one parent to love them while they grow up. Cole is lucky, he has four. I hope this helps you understand, even a little. hugs Lisa

Lisa, That was a beautiful response. I couldn't have said it better. Open adoption is for the child. :)

A great book to read to learn more about open adoption is The Open Adoption Experience. It really helped us understand what open adoption means, what's great about it and what challenges both birth and adoptive families face. We chose open adoption and are now waiting for our son to be born in about five weeks. We're really happy that we chose openness and that we chose an excellent agency to help us and the birthparents through the process. We have a strong bond with our birthmom and her family and have enjoyed visiting them on weekend trips three times in the last couple of months. We look forward to sharing our lives over the years and being part of a larger extended family together. We don't have any fear about knowing her or the birthfather (aside from normal anxiety that something could go wrong at this point in the adoption wait) and she feels that knowing us and being part of our lives is making her choice easier. We also feel that the baby will benefit from having so many family members who love him and being able to ask his birthparents questions, have a biological connection to people that he shares a resemblence to, and to enjoy spending time with his two older brothers. We live in neighboring states. We'll have at least two visits a year together (probably more because we already know we enjoy spending time together) and lots of phone calls, letters and pictures. I personally don't consider an adoption open unless you know each others full names, addresses, and have some about of phone or face-to-face contact. Adoptions in which parents remain anonymous and just exchange letters is one I'd consider "semi-open". I can't stress enough how really finding out about open adoption and working through your fears can help with the process. The book is good, talking to other people who are involved in open adoptions is good too. There are lots of adoption alternatives and it's great that people can choose the style of adoption they feel comfortable with. In our case it's open. For other people closed, semi-open or even international might be a better choice. The good thing is to get informed and then pick with both your head and your heart. Britt