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Originally Posted By laura
When I first heard that I had I choice between open, semi-open, and closed adoption. I thought that it would be hardest to handle anything but closed. However, after I talked with the family and other birthparents I am so glad that I chose to go with an open adoption. what a miracle it is that I as a birthparent have a chioce.
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Originally Posted By Sandra
Have you ever regretted it? Did the adoptive parents ever regret it, or have a hard time emotionally with it all?
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Originally Posted By Paula
(I don't know if Laura will answer so I am adding my answer to your question.)
I never regret the open adoption I have!! It requires commitment on my part to be stable and not disappear from my birthdaughter and her family's life. I have to remember her birthdays and to send a Christmas card. But what I've gained has been huge!!
I hope this doesn't sound too bad but.... I've read alot of posts from older birthmoms who have closed adoptions. I feel so bad for all the pain they go through! I think it's a lot harder for them to heal and deal with their grief! They always have to wonder in the back of their mind these questions:
"Is my child alive?"
"Is my child happy?"
"Did she get loving, understanding parents?"
"Is my child healthy?"
"Will my child ever search for me?"
"Does my child hate me and think she was abandoned?"
That's alot of scary questions to deal with!
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Originally Posted By laura
I have never regretted it. There have been times when I wasn't up to seeing them or having much communication because of the way I processed my choice but I was open and just explained to them that I needed somtime and they were ok with it.
It takes open communication to work. But what a wonderful gift to know that I can get that reassurance that I made the right choice and the baby is happy.
The adoptive parents have another adopted child (open) and in both cases they say it is wonderful to be able to ask any health questions when they come up and to know that as time goes on and the children start to ask questions about their birthparents they will have the answers.
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Originally Posted By gretchen
I was so encouraged to read your message! My husband and I are eagerly waiting to adopt our first child and we are totally committed to following the birthparents' wishes on openness. We really understand the benefits of open adoption, and we look forward to the relationship that we hope to have with birthparents. Thank you for reassuring us that openness is the way to go!!!
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