My first stupid question

I think that is a question specific to that home. I was in the same boat when I started my adoption journey. Not infertile, just not married.....not serious...not even dating. I think my agency asked, but it was not a criteria for acceptance. I adopted from the state, through a nonprofit agency. In my agency's case, if you are infertile, they wanted to know you had come to terms with your infertility, and/or gotten therapy if needed. You can certainly adopt..there are several means of adopting.

First of all there are no stupid Questions relating to Adoption. Don't insult your self please? I work in Childrens' Services. Your Childrens' Home Question to me would vary by state? Professionally, I have only heard the Infertile Question you quoted used in International Adoptions! In California, they do not ask this? I would do either one of two things in your case. I would approach them with your explaination, or if you had time? Volunteer and meet one of the kids by doing this? I am of the same generation also. We put our Careers ahead of having Children! Let them see how important you are in a childs' life! Good Luck~

While you're looking for information, it's important to note that there are different "kinds" of requirements. Some are actual laws (like you have to pass a homestudy), some are agency regulations (like you have to be married or a certain religion), some are birthparent or waiting child preferences ("I'm looking for African-American parents"). It's important to note the different kinds, because it is easy to by pass some, difficult to bypass others, and impossible to legally bypass the rest. For example, the one you stated about having to prove you cannot have biological children - that's a regulation from that agency. It only means you can't use THEM to adopt one of the specific children in THEIR care. It doesn't say anything about your ability to adopt through a different agency. Chances are your state requires potential adoptive parents to be over 18 years of age, able to support themselves and a child on their own income, never convicted of a felony involving violence or children, and able to love a child not genetically their own. Any regulations past that are likely belonging to the agency itself, and just means you need to find a different agency than the one with that rule. So, being single won't be held against you per se, but it will narrow your choice of agency. Just like your age will narrow your choice, and your choice of religion will narrow your choice, and the amount you are willing to pay for legal fees and such will narrow your choice. It doesn't matter how many agencys you *could* choose, so long as you are happy with even one of the agencies that would be happy with you.

I have been trying to figure out if this is a stupid question. I have also just figured out how to post this. I was wondering if you are automatically turned down for international adoption for mental disabilities. I am bipolar and am taking medication religiously to ensure that my life and the lifes of my family are not affected by this disorder. However my husband and I were wondering if adoption is even an option for us.

slatullippe; How both International Adoption and Domestic Adoption evaluations are done is how would your Doctor perceive your ability to Parent a child (ren). Ask either your Primary Care Physician or whomever is Supervising your Medication how they would regard this issue? Alot of kids are on Anti-DepressantS or some other type of drug and your knowledge and education may be more of an asset than you think it is!

eye_b_short, Have you considered artificial insemination? Your chances of having a child that way are better than trying to adopt. Adoption is nolonger about babies needing homes as much as it is about infertile couples wanting to have a family. There are older and problematic children available for single parent adoptions but healthy infants will go to infertile couples first as a rule. Your biological clock began ticking at 30 but with help from a good doc you can conceive provided no problems exist. I understand you can even select hereditary factors such as musical talent, very high IQs and such. Just a thought...

slatulippe, just like domestic agencies and placing birthparents have their own rules and desires, so do international agencies and placing countries. Some countries wouldn't accept a potential parent with a diagnosis of bi-polar disorder because in their own countries that disease is not well-known or easily controlled, and so they still have the old biases against people with mental illnesses. Other countries recognize that USA's medical profession is more advanced than their own in some areas and say that diagnosis is fine. Still others wouldn't even think about it because it's just as well-known and easily controlled in their area. Any reputable international agency would be able to tell you immediately whether that diagnosis would be acceptable in the countries they partner with, or if it wouldn't be. They'll also be able to tell you if they have an agency rule against accepting people with that diagnosis. So stop worrying, and get on the phone and find out for sure. I doubt international adoption is completely impossible for you, but I do guess it will limit the countries you can choose from. Good luck!