Meeting each other on the internet

I am a soon-to-be birth mom. (7 weeks and counting!) I started at only 6 weeks pregnant with an adoption agency, whom even after 2 meetings, did not see eye to eye on the way I wanted this handled. For me, it was imperative for the chosen adoptive family to be a part of every step of the pregnancy. I didn't want a single appointment missed. Unfortunately, the agency said they understood our feelings, but still more or less "warned" us they didn't recommend meetings until after the 5th month. Without the internet I wouldn't have the relationship, nor the peace of mind I have today. I started my independent search at 11 weeks, and by the end of the 12th week had met what has become our perfect match. We emailed, had a lengthy phone conversation, then met for dinner. I think 5 months later they are still pinching themselves to how this has turned out! We are still using an adoption agency, but only after we made our connection and set our own set of rules. For our state, the agency will streamline the final process. Upon delivery I will be able to stay put, have the social worker bring the necessary paperwork and have the adoption started, without going to court. There are a few other pros we found, and thankfully my lawyer, who recommended this agency, was completely honest about the possible red tape we would have faced trying to go through this adoption privately. By all rights, regardless of how the profile is presented, there are emotions and risks each side is facing. Our connection has been so successful because I knew from the moment I decided to place this child, I would have no turning back. I didn't feel the need to be sheltered by an agency and "told" the way things needed to be done. I also came into this realizing that the emotions of this couple could easily be torn apart, and that it was my role to be sure they were completely comfortable with the information we were providing. It would only work if everyone was completely truthful and open. Their profile allowed us a glimpse into their life, and the internet was the means in which that glimpse was possible. I hope you have your prayers answered too.

Wingless... I think you are an adoptive parents dream. We wish for your entire situation. As hopeful adoptive parents, I want to be apart of our potential birthmothers experiences, it's what I hope to share with the child as they grow up. If the birthmom continues to be apart of our life we welcome that... because the most important componant of all this is raising a healthy child, that know they are loved, and decisions were made for them Now... do I think this is all real.... I feel I am being too idealistic at times, because I know as humans, we all have emotions and feelings, fears, hopes, desires, etc.... We just heard... a possible situation won't go in our directions, and one of the pieces of the puzzles, was the babies parents have passed away. As much, as I desire at this momment to be holding a precious child in my arms, a little part of me, is satified that this wasn't for us... because we do want to have the birthparents to share with as the child grows. I wish you the best for the next 7 weeks and beyond, and it's great to hear of someone who took the situation into their own control and looked for what was best for them :)

Enerad, By posting or advertising your profile on the internet, you definitely open yourself up to the potential that you might be found by a scammer or that your privacy might somehow be violated. However, you also open yourself up to the possibility that you might find a birthmother you might not otherwise have found. Only you and your spouse can assess the pros and cons of advertising online and decide if it's right for you. My choice of adoptive parents came down to two couples, one I found online and one I foud via word of mouth - the amom worked at the same location as my sister. Both word of mouth and the internet are means of networking. I think the internet was great for me because I was able to view detailed profiles online, at my leisure, and email the couples I liked. I did look at profiles in an agency office one time, and I felt rather uncomfortable... there was a social worker in there with me, and I think she wanted me to pick someone out of their book right then and there. Anyway... the internet allowed me the freedom to look at hundreds of families all over the country, and then get to know them via email before we moved to phone conversations, and the eventual visits. As for your actual online profile, I don't think you have to have a slick marketing campaign. Personally, I HATE music on adoption websites, because sometimes i was browsing profiles in a campus computer lab, and I really didn't want anyone to turn and stare at me when baby music came pouring out of my computer. If you do decide to go with a website, make sure that it's easy to navigate, and that you have plenty of good pictures and information about you and your family. Good luck.

My husband and I are starting the adoption process and I have been very interested to find out that some bmothers and amothers have met on the internet. I see there are forums out there and I also see people advertising that they would like a child on the web, I just dont see how the two get together. I am very interested in finding a wonderful mother who is willing to adopt her child to us, but I am leary about the web. Does anyone have any ideas as to what good websites are that we can put our profile on? Do you recommend we create our own website? Is there any forums on a Yahoo like site that people browse through? My husband and I want to adopt, but it all seems so overwhelming. We would love to hook up with someone over the internet as it seems much easier and it cuts out the internet. Any advice would be welcome.

My husband and I are starting the adoption process and I have been very interested to find out that some bmothers and amothers have met on the internet. I see there are forums out there and I also see people advertising that they would like a child on the web, I just dont see how the two get together. I am very interested in finding a wonderful mother who is willing to adopt her child to us, but I am leary about the web. Does anyone have any ideas as to what good websites are that we can put our profile on? Do you recommend we create our own website? Is there any forums on a Yahoo like site that people browse through? My husband and I want to adopt, but it all seems so overwhelming. We would love to hook up with someone over the internet as it seems much easier and it cuts out the internet. Any advice would be welcome.

Adoption is very overwhelming. Don't limit your options. Always proceed with caution with all Internet contacts you pursue either birthmother or another adoptive family. I have been watching these and other boards for 4 years. I have had contact with birthmothers via the boards, web sites, Dear Birthmother Letters and through personal contacts. I have met several adoptive families also through the Internet and by personal experiences. My words of advise is to pursue every opportunity out there, be patient, don't be a PIA to any birthmother and never trust anyone you met through the Internet until they earn your trust. If someone offers to do something for free, beware there will be a hitch sooner or later. I have been burnt and hurt by women wanting to help us with our adoption pursuit. There are birthmothers out there but do not limit yourself to the Internet and do not give an agency all your hard earned money. Just my advise and it is free of charge