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Originally Posted By JenniferI get to speak to groups of adoptive parents who are getting ready to adopt for the agency I went through. You would be surprised how many of them are interested in having a more open adoption once they hear a real birthmother talk about her experience. It's really cool to see their defenses and fears go away when they start to realize we are just normal people just like them. The media has a tendency to only report negative stories about adoption and birthmothers so they are scared. When they begin to see that birthmothers are special people who really want the best for their children they end up wanting to get to know their adopted child's!

Originally Posted By dianehThat's exactly how it was for us! We really couldn't fathom open adoption until we heard a birthmother speak at a workshop put on by our agency. She so much wanted what was best for her child and knew that meant having healthy boundaries with the afamily. She obviously knew she wasn't co-parenting with them (our fear). Hearing her talk also helped us relate to her grief and loss. We had never thought of it as a "death experience" before, but saw it in that light after hearing her. I had been pregnant twice and both of those babies died. I know it's different, and yet, for the first time, I could relate to how a bmom might be feeling.