New Moderator - Introducing myself

Hi Teri, I was 29 when I gave birth to my first son ... and I think being that age was beneficial because I had graduated from college, had been married for 7 years and I was a bit more mature than when I was younger. Two and a half years later, I had another son and had learned something about parenting from my first son. It seems that women are having children and adopting children at older ages than previously ... and I think there are some benefits to this. Have you found this to be true? What has your experience been? thanks, Nancy

Welcome Teri! I will also be older than the average mother. I am 45 now and we just got done with our Homestudy! My husband is almost 38. I wonder sometimes if I will have enough energy....lol Pat

Nancy: Yes, I have found that parents are "older" today than they were when I was going up. My daughter and I just joined a "mommy and me" class, and I, at age 43, wasn't the only one that was in that age bracket. That was nice to see. One of the wonderful benefits for us is that my husband has been in the workforce long enough to make a substantial salary - which allows me to stay home with our darling daughter. And, that alone, makes it worthwhile (for us) to have kids later in life. Other benefits I see are ones that come from just "living" life. Being able to understand my personality "flaws" helps me to know what things I'll do well with our daughter, and what things I still need to work on - and which things are just better handled by "daddy." Plus...with age comes patience. :-) Also - for us, waiting to have children until we are in our 40's (we really had to WORK for our little sweetie) has given us an appreciation of her that is intensified. Ah.....the joys of "older" parenting!!

Pat: Congrats on finishing your homestudy! One step closer to bringing home your child! Are you adopting domestically or internationally? My husband and I (as my original post says) brought home our 8 month old daughter from Russia. I turned 43 (the day she came home...what a birthday present!) and my husband is 46. I find that having a little one around the house has actually made me feel younger. It's amazing to watch her discover the world. And, as for the energy level....well, yes I am tired at the end of the day - but it's a "good" tired. Our daughter has just started to walk.....so, needless to say....I'm on my feet whenever she is...and that is most of the day :-) . But....I think it'll make for a good weight loss program! Good luck on your adoption journey, Pat! Keep us informed of your progress... Everytime I hear someone tell me they just finished with their homestudy - or are waiting for a referral - it brings back so many wonderful memories. It makes me want to pick up our phone and call our agency and say......"well......maybe it's time for #2!" Yikes!!!!

We are adopting domestically. My husband and I got the carpet cleaned and the crib put up in the nursery today! I am so excited and hope the excitement continues through the wait :) Pat

Pat - Wow - that is so neat! Please do keep us posted on the progess. I think, for us, the excitement only mounted during the "waiting period." I look back on it now - and it really was a "precious time" in our lives. At the time - we grew very impatient ;) , but when I look back on it - it was a time filled with hope, and excitement and anticipation. We were just waiting for our dreams to come true...and they did. Yours will, too. Best to you and yours, Pat. :)

Hi Teri, I am a foster mom to 3 little ones (2 - one year olds and a 2 1/2 year old). At 51 I admit some days I am pretty tired especially after several almost sleepless nights because of teething or colds but I wouldn't trade a minute of it. I love each and every one of the little ones that come to us "on loan" and send a piece of my heart with them when they leave. My granddaughter (she is 11) tells me that her friend at school has parents that are older than me so I would think having children later in life seems to be an option many are taking. Belated congrats on your little girl. Take care.

Thank you for the congrats! Yes - having our child later in life really has it bonuses. And yes, I too, have been up many nights as we are in the "teething" stage. When our daughter came home at 8 months of age, she didn't have any teeth - so we have quite a few to deal with. She is just starting to get her 6th tooth now - and it looks as though a molar is making an attempt, too. Foster kids - I would love to hear more about that experiece. I have "tossed around" the idea - but I wonder how I would deal with it when the children go back "home." I have such a tendency to get "attached." How do you deal with that? What a wonderful way, NanaMarie - to "give back." I am so touched by stories like yours... Teri

Hey Teri, Like you I get attached to all "my" kids .. they are each and every one of them special and unique in their own way. Its tough when they leave and I admit I have myself a good cry and look at photo albums and remember all the good times we had. Can't say I don't think of them and worry that they are OK but I know they are in God's hands and I have to trust that he is watching over them. I think it was easier (if that is possible) to let go of the two that were adopted. Partly because I got to meet and spend time with the new mom and dad and felt they were good people who would love these little ones to pieces. Fortunately for me one of these couples is keeping in touch so I still get pictures and updates a couple times a year. Because we foster only little ones I think the bond or attachment is more because they can't do for themselves at first and you do so much for them. But that is my only my opinion. I know a lot of my friends tell me they couldn't do it because they could never let them go. :) Hope those teeth come through soon for your little one I know the back ones always seem to take forever and seem to hurt the most. Hugs to you and yours. Marie

NanaMarie - Bless your heart. What a sweet person you are. You must be a very strong and loving person - with a heart for the Lord. You and yours will be in my prayers.