Birth Mom is passed away

Dear kq7772: I am so sorry to hear that your husband's birth mother has passed away. It can be so hard after a long search to discover the person you long to get to know is no longer here. Who did you speak with? Did they have much knowledge of your husband's birth mother? My father-in-law reunited in 1997 with his birth family and his dear birth mother had passed away in 1990. Fortunately she had 8 other children. We have been able to look at pictures and learn about dad's dear birth mother through the photos and memories of others. Have you thought of looking up your husband obituary in the local library in the town where she had lived? If the town is a distance from you many reference librarians will look up the obituary for you in their microfiche. They can make a copy and could mail it to you. Many will ask that you send a self addressed envelope and a minimal charge of around $3.00 to cover postage and handling. Most obituaries will list the town or area that a surviving child lives at the time that their relative passed away. If your husband's 1/2 sister is married the obituary may list her married name. Once you have a name and an town you will have some information to use on a search. On the Wed and Thurs chats here on AdoptionForums we help people to get to their next step in searching. You are very welcome to come on to the chat. There are many people that have found their relatives that would be more than happy to assist you for no charge in our chat room. Best to you and your dear husband. Warm regards,

HELLO...I AM SO SORRY TO HEAR YOUR HUSBANDS MOTHER PASSED. TO SEARCH FOR SUCH A LONG TIME THEN TO DISCOVER SHES GONE...HAS GOT TO BE DEVASTATING. I LOST A GIRLFRIEND ONCE WHERE I COULDNT ATTEND THE FUNERAL OR SHOWING. I FELT REALLY DEPRESSED AND A UNFINISHED FEELING. MY THEOPIST TOLD ME TO GO TO MY BEDROOM...SIT DOWN ON THE BED. PRETEND MY FRIEND WAS SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO ME. HOLD HER HAND AND TALK TO HER AS IF SHE WAS THERE..AND TELL HER EVERYTHING I WANTED TO TELL HER. THEN WHEN I WAS DONE....TAKE HER HAND ...WALK TO THE CORNER OF THE ROOM...AND LIFT HER HAND TO GOD AND LET GO.... I SOBBED AND SOBBED...YET IT WAS A RELIEF TO FEEL...I HAD CLOSURE. I DONT KNOW IF A MAN WOULD DO THIS ....(YOU KNOW MEN) BUT IT DOES RELEASE ALL THAT PENT UP GRIEF! HUGS JANET

Hi there : Well my birth mom passed on Dec 23,1977 ....At this point Im unaware if I have any siblings. Im 36 years old ,, Im Canadian and my ** was also canadian .....My Grandmother on the other hand lives in Louisianna ....Which would mean that there is a possibility that I may have family born american .... My Grandmother is alive and not well but she did tell me that my ** lived with her a while .... Its been a struggle for me to find anything out about my father because they are telling me I was concieved on one night stand .... I know how your husband is feelling and I sure wish him luck in his search ....... I'm still trying to search for my BF but so far no luck ...... Keep your head up and your options open ......One can never tell what will happen ....

Hi. My heart goes out to you, your husband, and your family. I had the same situation happen - finding her, losing her all within the same minute. My birth mom, Liz, died in 1977 from injuries received in an automobile accident. You can read my story at adoption.com, emag, June 17, 2003, issue, my story is entitled "He Did This for Us." Thankfully, my birth-grandma, has been wonderful to me, and has accepted me into her home. I know the Lord brought me back into her life because she had much guilt about my birth, as well as about my birth mom's death. We are very close. I love her, and thank God for bringing us together. Yet, I must admit, I do feel a sadness in my heart for my birth mom. It is so painful to know that while on this earth I will never hug her or have a chance to say thank you, Liz. But, I hope in the future, because I know she's in Heaven, and one day I will see her. The only thing that is helping me through the grief is my faith in Christ, my family, and my friends. Having Liz's sisters (my aunt), her brother (my uncle), my grandparents, etc., has really helped. They have offered wonderful glimpses into the life of my birth mom. Also, my grandma had kept so many of Liz's things that she passed to me, so I love having those. I even have cassette tapes with her singing and playing her guitar, and talking. That is comforting. Since your husband's family doesn't seem too willing to help, maybe you could locate a friend of his birth mom's to help in the matter. Maybe he/she could tell your husband some memories, share photos, etc. With prayers and hugs - NikkiLGA

I completely understand as I just received my unsealed adoption records and found out my birth name and my birth parents names. The good news is it looks like they got married after I was born and surrendered. The bad news is from primary indications, they are both deceased. I have no idea if they had other children or not. It would be nice to at least see a picture of them. I guess time and God will heal. Good luck.

I know how your husband must feel as my bmom passed away in 1997 also (several years before I found out who she was) I mourned as if I had known her all my life. I have been able to find out much about her though through my brothers and sisters. I wish you peace and happiness and hope that you will find what you wish for. Hugs Snuffie

Rcently found out my birthmother is dead got her obit but it dosent mention any living relatives my adoption records say i have a half sister how can i find more info on my mom

I am sorry to hear about your birth mother being deceased. Its a tough road to have to walk down. Do you know where she went to school. You may want to try to see if you can find that piece of information out, and check to see if anyone from her high school, etc., remembers her. That's one avenue. You could also check with the funeral home who made arrangements during the time of her passing, to see if they have any records. Best wishes and may God comfort your heart. Love - NikkiLGA