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Routines enable children to know what to expect as well as what is expected of them ... this gives them a feeling of security and is reassuring, regardless of their temperament. Routines can be structured around waking, mealtime, bath, bedtime and holidays/celebrations. Some routines are 'unconscious' like waving good-bye and some routines can be made into family traditions like saying what we are grateful for during a Thanksgiving meal.
Toddlers who tend to be 'touchy' or 'grouchy' will be happier when naptime and bedtime are predictable. Routines provide security, can cut down struggling and 'negotiating', help kids deal with separation (giving kisses when parting), support learning, set clear boundaries, make mundane times meaningful.
An example of a mealtime routine might involve teaching a child that mealtime is a time to sit quietly, use utensils, try new foods and eat with the family. So mealtimes should be served around the same time each day, and include handwashing before the meal, perhaps saying grace, and having conversation.
A bedtime routine might include a bath, a story, talking about something to be grateful for, or something that happened during the day, and of course a good night kiss.
Tell us about how you use routines and what your family traditions are
Nancy:)
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Hi Nancy,
We're a family that is very happy with routines. My daughter spent her first 18 months in an orphanage which was all about routines, so it was doubly important for us to keep to a schedule as much as possible.
The end of the day is most predictable -- first dinner (all of us together), bath, bottle, bed all at approximately the same time. We get very little resistance because it's always the same (of course as with all toddlers that could change tomorrow!).
Mornings during the week are the same too. I get her up, get her changed and DH gives her a bottle and then I go to work. I blow kisses and say bye-bye.
I'm actually amazed she's as flexible as she is considering how every day in the orphanage was exactly the same. Just shows how resilient kids can be.
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During the week, we have to be on a very tight schedule. I get up about 45 minutes before my foster son so I can get ready for work. I turn on his light & radio before I get dressed so he can ease himself awake for a few minutes. But when it's time for him to get up, we have to move quickly, as I try to wait until the last possible moment to get him up. I drop him off at day care at 7:15 or so, and I pick him up about 5:45. We only have about 1 1/2 hours at night between when we get home and when he needs to be in bed. In that time, he has to have dinner, perhaps t.v. or playing time, sometimes a bath, a story & rocking while listening to tapes.
So, on the weekends, we kick back a lot. I let him stay up late on Fri. & Sat. nights (also so he'll sleep later on Sat. & Sun. mornings;) ). We often go out to breakfast on Saturday mornings, and then we usually have errands to do. He usually gets a late (2:00-3:00), long (sometimes 3 hours!) nap, and he'll stay up until 9:30 or even 10:00 -- whenever he's tired. On Sundays, I usually make pancakes for breakfast. We take our time getting dressed, then often visit my mom or my sister. Or sometimes, like this past Sunday, we'll have a pajama day & just stay at home and play and be lazy, maybe cook or bake something special.
So while routine is important, I think that, depending on the child, a break in routine is good, too. (Of course, our weekend non-routine becomes a routine of its own, too -- just a different one.)