Will a church help anyone?

I'm not sure how the church could help you, whether you were a member or not. What sort of help are you talking about? It is possible to adopt children through the foster care system at little or no cost. The majority of the children in foster care are not infants, but older children. Occasionally there are babies; often they are part of a sibling group, and generally the State will make every effort to ensure that they remain together. I'm no expert on the foster care system; I'm a birthmother. But I've learned a little about foster-adoption through participating in this forum. I would recommend that you post your question on the Foster Parenting board and see if you can get some insight or advice from some of the forum members who have adopted through the foster care system. It is my understanding (don't quote me on this) that, at least in some states, you do not have to become a foster parent in order to adopt through the foster care system. However, you still have to pass a homestudy, background check, etc... requirements vary from state to state. Anyway, if I were you I would post on the Foster Parent board; I'm sure they can provide you with some valuable information. As far as the church goes, I doubt they can provide you with much more than moral support, spiritual comfort, and perhaps a good reference or two... although I guess it wouldn't hurt to look into it. Best of luck to you. :) Sincerely, ~ Sharon

thank you for the advice, I was talking about financial help. We just received our contract from the facilitator we are working with, and we need to come up with a lot of money pretty fast and are trying to do it without getting a loan. My brother had stated that some churches would help. But I really think that if even if they have the means too, because we are not active members they would not be any financial help. I was really jsut wondering. Our homestudy has just started, and I know of a couple places we can apply for grants as soon as it's completed, but we only have a certain amount of time to look over the contract before we need to send it back with the money. And our home study probably wont be completed with in that amount of time, let alone the time it would take to apply for the grants get a resose, and get fund if they decided to help. I have already talked to a few people about "other means" of finding and making money to help fund an adoption, like car washes, fundraisers, etc. But I was just wondering aout the church thing.

There are several crisis pg ministries that help women who have decided to make an adoption plan place their babies. There are no fees charged because the ministry is supporyed by donations. So it is possible. HOWEVER The primary goal of these ministries is the care and support of birth parents. Most do an awesome job of finding support and resources that allow them to parent. That means that for many hopefull adoptive parents the wait could be loooooong. The other down side is that while all the crisis pg ministries I have heard about do everything legal they are often not up to date on adoption. Since most people choose to parent I have heard that the adoptions don't always go as smoothly. Not that they are disrupted but that adoptive parent felt left out and not as well supported. Lastly these are run thru churches, usually Evangelical one so for some being Catholic could be a problem but for others it isn't. I say it couldn't hurt to check it out. I know of many people who have adopted that way. lisa

The Catholic church, usually through Catholic Charities located in each state, do facilitate and arrange adoptions. There is a nominal cost (just to cover their administrative expenses) and I do not believe they allow money (for any reason) to be exchanged between parent and birth mother, so it is very cost effective. You do need to attend classes and be interviewed to be approved as a parent. Because state laws vary, there is no state to state adoption so you will only be eligible to adopt children in your home state. The church does not require you to be Catholic, however, since most of the prospective birth mothers who contact a catholic charity are likely to be catholic, they may have a preference for the child to be place and raised in a catholic family. The catholic church does not have a tithing requirement, thus not contributing to the church is not an issue. However, again the birth mother may want to see a letter from your local priest or some other information indicating that you are members in good standing. As with other agencies, the birth mother probably makes the final selection and if religion is an issue for her and other applicants are more involved in the church it could be an issue. That is the good news... the bad news is that according to my bro in law, lawyer who works for the Catholic church, there are very few babies available. He said that there are private adoption lawyers who visit every OB office, send Pizzas with business cards, and pay cash referrals, etc to OB office staff to find women who are willing to adopt. Because the private lawyers will get some financial incentives (support during pregnency, etc) and the Catholic charities will not, very few prospective mothers are utilizing the catholic charity service. You can register, and stay on their list (in our state I think it's $300 a year) but from what I've heard your chances are pretty slim.

Actually, it must depend on the state for catholic charities. In our state, IA, it is 12,000. You will have to have the letter from your pastor. Also there may be quite a wait with them. In my area they were only going to be accepting 7 new couples and even then we would have had to wait several months to begin the process. Don't get me wrong I am Catholic and think they are a great organization. They just weren't the right agency for us. We found another christain adoption agency whose wait isn't as long, the down side their fees are a little higher. They do however offer a loan program based on the Tax Credit so it worked out for us. You need to do a little research and decide which avenue is best suited for you. State, Agency, Private, Faciliator. They all have good points and drawbacks, depending on your situation.

We adopted a four week old biracial baby from Catholic Social Services in PA. Our cost at the time (3 yrs ago) was $2500 . I believe the cost is $5000 now. I do know that there are very few babies available at present. It doen't hurt to put your name on the list. You never know what is meant to be. God truely blessed us.

FYI- The $300 I referred to is just the annual fee to stay on the waiting list each year, regardless of whether or not you ever end up adopting through them.... I'm sure the actual adoption fees are probably in the same ballpark as in other states...

Turns out it is a church In the North West (I believe it was Wahington State) run by a former Dallas Cowboy Football Palyer (I believe) who used church funds to pay adoption fees. Seems he has done it at least once (due to there being a "testimonial") but when I tried to contact them for further information - just to find out - none of the contact information is good, and the church has no listing. I read about it online off of some website like CNN or ESPN or something like that. For this, you didn't have to be a member, but you had to go through all the proper steps, you just didn't pay for it the church he operated did. As far as I have experienced - it's not real (or is not real any longer). We are researching our options in our area, and even though we want an infant, our chances of adopting and infant seem to be very slim because of the horrendous fees - we have income to support a child - we just don't have $20,000 lying around in a bank account that isn't at least ear marked for something else and couldn't get a loan if we tried. I went to our church and asked if there was some kind of help financially (we are semi-active, living out of town but go at least once a month), and they kinda laughed and said no one offers help like that. Now I don't think they know that NO ONE does, but your chances might be lower than some people think. For financial help the best think I can think to suggest is - my husband's company offers a benefit here we can claim one time and get a reimbursment of a portion of adoption fees. Not all companies do this, but apparently it is becoming more common. Maybe you or your significant other work at a location that does this. Lucy Kilhullen

landmk, we have adopted 4 infants so far and never paid $20k. Our last adoption was far and away the most expensive and it will end up costing $15k BUT that is because we went out of state. If we had stayed local the whole thing would have been half of the cost. It is VERY possible to adopt infants without spending that kind of money. Aren't here non profit agencies in your area that charge on a sliding scale? Is private adoption legal in your state? If not I can name at least two agencies hat have reasonable fees even for non residents if you would consider AA babies. lisa

Any referals to any help I can find would be wonderful and greatly appreciated. $20,000 is the low edn of what we are finding - I have found some as much as $45,000 when all is said and done! It has been very discouraging. Any references or information on how we can do this would be great! Private adoptions - do you mean through a lawyer? Yes, those are legal, but we haven't found a lawyer to talk to us for more than 1 sitting - they become "too busy" and don't return our calls. Non-Profit - I haven't come across any, but that doesn't mean they are not there. I have seen them for other sstates, but I am in TX, and they kind of seem to be out of the loop on some things. Again, it has been very discouraging. Lucy