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i"m searching for my son that was adopted in d.c in 1987. the agency that handled it was American Friends of Children. My son was born in Cols., Ohio though. Birthname was Richard L. Brown.
I have found my son BUT aparents want me to wait until he is 21 for contact with him. They say it is because he has adha & they feel he doesn't need any disruption in his life at this time. He was in trouble for a bit & they sent him away for school. That must not have worked out though because he ended up getting his ged. My only hope of being able to contact him soon is if he goes to college & is out of their home then. Otherwise wait until he is 21. I only hope that he isn't upset by my not contacting him. He is 18 now. But still in their home. I don't want to disrupt his life.But then again I feel it's his decision not theirs to make.
Do I write a letter to him, that may get intercepted by aparents?
Do I just settle for updates that they agreed to via an attorney friend of theirs?
Do I just wait until he goes to college & is out of their house IF he does go?
There is moral obligation & legal bindings that I need to consider. The state says 21 is legal age of an adoptee so that means that I would have to wait until aparents say.
I'm so confused I don't know what I should or should not do. I've known where my son is for 2 months now & it's killing me not to just pick up the phone & call him!!
Can anyone give me some really good advice on if i should/ shouldn't contact? Is it right for me to against the aparents wishes? With the thought in mind that he is in their home.
At this point in my life I cannot provide a college education as they can, so should I factor that in too? Would I mess that up for him? As i feel they would be the kind (from things that were said on initial contact) that would tell him to pick between us.
Is it right for me to wait until he's 21? I don't want him to find out that I have known where he is & not contacted him. Altough he will, I won't hide anything from him. I just don't want him to be mad at me for it. It is their wishes not mine.
Which brings me to, maybe writing them a letter & telling them that feel it might disrupt him even more knowing that he could have had the option to say if he wanted contact or not.
Any advice from adoptees here???
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