Help with a 10 year old

October 18, 2003

Hi Everyone ,

I am adopting a 10 year old boy who had been in fc for 4 years and rtc x2 . Yes he has had multiple placements and has been diagnossed with ADHD , RAD , and Depression and LD.Oh yea , Oppisitional Defiant . He is a pretty good kid considering all he has been through but he does not communicate much and gets an attitude that drives me nuts . I am also adopting a two year old who was crack addicted and hep b positive at birth. He has delays and did not walk till he was almost two . Any comments or suggestions would help.

lucyjoy

October 18, 2003

Find services for the child that will address the RAD-most the other issues will be treated the same. Have safety net in place like room alarms to keep the baby safe and to keep the child safe. He may not sleep much and wonder around the house as he probably won't feel safe for a while with his traumatic history.

Don't react to his attitude that drives you nuts. He'll catch on and use that to gain control. Don't put much in his room. It will keep you from having to take things away. Have clear rules and know what consequences you plan to use, but don't share that part with him-it allows too much room to manipulate and way the odds. Find a good foster/adopt support group familiar with RAD.

Visit the [url]www.radzebra.org[/url] webpage. If you are not already familiar with these issues, read Nancy Thomas' When Love is N0t Enough and Keck and Kupecky's Adopting the Hurt Child.

Advertisements

Nicole28

October 18, 2003

You're a great person for taking these children into your home and sharing love with them. I think lots of love, attention, patience and compassion will make all the difference. :)

Dr. Art

October 19, 2003

I agree with LucyJoy. Find a good therapist who can provide you and your family the necessary help and support. Your ten-year old will be quite challenging. You need a licensed mental health professional who has substantial experience and training in working with families with adopted and foster children and attachment issues. The person should have had at least 40 hours of training at some recognized attachment training program and then an additional 20 hours every two years of attachment-related professional education. You can find such a person in your region at [URL=http://www.attach.org]Assoc for the Treatment and Training in the Attachment of Children[/URL] If you do not find someone in your area, contact the nearest person on that list and I am sure they can provide you with the name of a competant local person.

regards,